Friday, October 11, 2013

The Pen Is Mighty

The first thing I saw this morning was the author list for another scifi anthology that's over 90% male. And my response was that I need to write a TV script lambasting a trope that's not funny anymore.

Here's the story:

THE PEN IS MIGHTY

Shareece Brown has always dreamed of being an author, but she wasn't able to land a book deal until she concocted a pen name, Dirk Manly. Dirk is a studly brooder, and now that "his" book has hit the top of the bestseller list, Shareece's publisher demands that she maintain her anonymity. Now she's learning the fine art of mustache gluing, pants-stuffing, and fedora-wearing in the hopes of riding her gravy train all the way to the end, where she can finally admit that she's a lesbian and hates hats.

But then she meets Lily White, a farm girl from Kansas and Dirk's biggest fan. Shareece hires Lily to be her personal assistant on the tour and ride on the bus across the country, along with Shareece's dudebro younger brother and sassy best friend. Shareece is contractually obligated to maintain her Dirk facade, but she realizes she can be herself as Dirk's sister and win Lily's friendship and possibly more. Now she spends half her time changing in the tiny bus bathroom and hoping she's wearing the right facial hair when she "runs into" Lily.

Containing such classic scenarios as:

* Is that a sausage or are you just glad to see me? / Can't it be both?

* I've never felt like this about a man before. / Me, neither.

* Your mustache is so lush. Do you give it any special care? / Is 'the trash' special?

* Your brother is so dreamy. / If by 'dreamlike', you mean 'not real', then I agree.

Let's make it happen, y'all.

***

1 comment:

Paul Anthony Shortt said...

Hell yes! There's no reason this couldn't even be a movie.