Thursday, July 5, 2012

I survived the zombiepocalypse!

Well, kinda.

See, were were having a great time on the way home from FandomFest in Louisville, Kentucky. Me, MG author Janice Hardy, urban fantasy author James R. Tuck, and book reviewer and bibliophile Carol Malcolm. We got into Tennessee, hit up an Olive Garden, shopped for fireworks, and molested a giant, patriotic gorilla.

Okay, so maybe that was just me.

Back in the car, we pulled onto the highway, and that's when it happened.

The speed dropped, and then the cars in front of us slowly rolled to a halt. They didn't budge. People began to get out and step onto the median.

And we realized the zombies were finally here.

We were hungry. We had to pee. And we decided then and there that if we had to eat someone, it was going to be Carol, mainly because she was outside talking to the dude in the black truck and couldn't hear us plotting.

So we smiled and took a picture.

I've always wanted to stand in the middle of a highway.

Four hours later, we began to creep forward. The highway ahead was empty in the darkness, and they shuttled us wordlessly off a ramp and forced us away from the glowing warmth of the gas station. The long line of lights strung out into the night, every car and semi-trailer crowding down a Tennessee back road. If I had been alone and without a GPS, I would have been terrified.

The first gas station we found-- it had been ravaged. The aisles empty, the pumps cut off, the bathrooms barely better than outhouses.

"Four dead," people whispered, waiting in line to buy the last of the food. "Been closed for seven hours."

"Guess it didn't matter that we got dessert," we said.

Back on the road, we watched the gas gauge. 51 miles left... 47 miles... 42 miles. We started staring at the farmhouses we passed, silently weighing the options. Luckily, Janice's GPS could win Jeopardy, and we were soon right back on track.

The rest of the night blurs together. We found gas. We found a truck stop Wendy's that was miraculously open at 1:19am because the manager was under the impression that they were in the next time zone and it was only 12:19. Silly fools! French fries have never tasted so good.

We drove through rain, through lightning, through weird, sideways hail. There were unexplained lights in the sky over the twisting mountains and one big explosion in the trees. We're pretty sure we saw aliens. Well, I was.

When we got home at 4:30am, though, I knew three things in my heart: It was a grand adventure, and I have amazing friends, and I'm really glad we didn't eat Carol.


Note:  I did not drive, which is probably a big part of why we made it home safely. Janice got us through the traffic jam, and James got us through the mountains. They can WRITE, and they can also PERFORM MIRACLES.


James R. Tuck Dark Urban Fantasy Author said...

We are holding the Carol option open for St Augustine!

Carol M. said...

Uh, oh -- I shall have to be vigilant!

Anonymous said...

And it was a grand adventure, indeed.

Janice Hardy said...

Great wrap up! I've added Carol to the "Meat of the Month" club so she'll be nice and plump come February.

Of course we could just bring a cooler and stock up on snacks. But where's the fun in that?

Marian Allen said...

No eating friends! A good plan is to always travel with someone you don't like, so you get a prize with your meal.

Marian Allen
Fantasies, mysteries, comedies, recipes

Carol M. said...

Yikes -- I just now saw Janice's post! Vigilant, I tell you -- vigilant! :)

Janice Hardy said...