Wednesday, May 9, 2012

crowdsourcing has jumped the shark

Here's a metaphor for almost any crowdsourcing request on Facebook.

me: Looking for a delicious hamburger joint near Alpharetta that serves sweet potato fries and is child friendly. Anybody have a suggestion?
friend 1: u should try Vinnie's for pizza, it is great.

friend 2: Burger Haus has amazing regular fries!

friend 3: Yummyburger is PERFECT for you. Amazing burgers, great SP fries, indoor playground with free nannybots to watch the kids. It's in Nowhere, North Dakota.

friend 4: You should become a vegan. Meat is harmful and horrible and you will die of cancer.

friend 5: lol veganz

friend 6: ChickfilA had sweet potato fries last year.

friend 7: La Burger de la Tristesse has good burgers and fantastic SP fries! But no kids.

friend 8: There's a great, child-friendly vegan place near us with an amazing black bean patty.

friend 9: OMG! I know the perfect place! In Alpharetta, grassfed burgers, SP fries, kid-friendly, but it just opened and doesn't have a website yet. Hold on, I'll get my coupon for you. (disappears offline forever)

friend 4: You should watch this video.

friend 10: I had a burger the other day that wasn't that good.

friend 11: McDonalds?

friend 12: Meat isn't murder. Meat is God's way of making us happy. Everyone should eat meat. Vegans should stop eating celery and start eating more meat. I eat meat and meat only for ever meal. Meat meat meat. Vegans are hairless trolls. But I don't know the answer to your actual question.

friend 13: Why don't you do it yourself? Just buy a cow and a quart of bull sperm. Inseminate the cow with a turkey baster and wait 9 months while also growing organic sweet potatoes in your yard using compost. Help birth the calf, using a backhoe and a rope if it gets stuck in its mother's pelvis. Feed it on organic fescue until it's approximately three years old, gelding early and with hand-forged clippers for optimal tenderness. Hang it up from a tree, slaughter it, butcher it, and grind your own meat. Shape the patties into hearts and grill them over mesquite while you harvest and roast your sweet potatoes. NOTHING COULD BE EASIER!

friend 14: Have you been to Vinnie's? Great pizza!


Whitney said...

hahaha! this is so true. but we did help out with Stax, did we not? :)

Kate said...


Smash Burger on Windward - SP fries are awesome...

Wendy said...

Gah, the pain! The truth, it buuurrrrnnnns!

Wendy said...

Gah, the pain! The truth, it buuurrrrnnnns!