Saturday, March 3, 2012

I gave at the office

t.rex: I AM OBI WAN KENOBI AND YOU ARE PWINCESS LEIA AND I NEED YOU TO KEEP DIS PENNY. (hands me a quarter)

me: I, Princess Leia Organa, will keep this penny.

t.rex: OKAY. I GOING TO GO KILL A GWEMLIN FOR YOU. YAH! HI-YAH!

me: Cool. Keep Stripe out of my coffee.

biscuit: OOH, YOU HAVE A COIN! CAN I HAVE YOUR COIN?

t.rex: NO, DAT IS PWINCESS LEIA'S PENNY AND YOU CAN'T HAB IT.

(inter-sibling fight begins to brew)

me: Okay. Okay. Wait. Um. Biscuit, are you collecting money to help orphaned Wookiees?

biscuit: Well--

me: *wink wink* DO YOU WANT THIS COIN SO YOU CAN SAVE AN INNOCENT BABY WOOKIEE?

biscuit: (slowly) Um, yeeeeees.

me: Obi Wan, let's give her the coin. She's trying to help baby Wookiees.

t.rex: I AM SUBBOSED TO GET PENNIES TO BUY A NET.

me: You... what?

t.rex: I SUBBOSED TO BUY A NET. FOR THE MOSKEETERS IN AFWICA.

me: I vaguely remember something about your preschool doing a charity project about that. Remind me-- why do the kids in Africa need nets?

t.rex: BETAUSE THE MOSKEETERS WILL DWINK DERE BWOOD WIKE VAMPIRES AND KILL DEM.

me: I appreciate your altruistic feelings, if not your uninformed delivery.

t.rex: I WOULD PRECIATE DAT COIN. FOR NETS.

me: How about if I find another coin, and then you can each have one?

biscuit: Maybe a dollar would be easier for you to find for me? And is there a coin worth twenty-five dollars?

me: No and no.

biscuit: What about those special golden coins from Chuck E. Cheese?

me: Those are actually worth less than a dollar.

biscuit: WHAT? BUT THEY'RE GOLD!

me: Sorry, kid. You've been duped by yet another mouse cult. Those coins aren't worth anything unless you're at Chuck E. Cheese.

biscuit: THEN ALL THESE COINS ARE WORTHLESS! (throws coins in the air and storms off)

me: Welcome to America, kid.

t.rex: (busily scoops up coins) SISTER DWOP HER PENNIES! I BUYIN LOTSA NETS NOW!!

me: See? You already get the America thing.

*

5 comments:

Ali Trotta said...

Love this!! Totally made me laugh. :-)

Virginia Valerie said...

HAHAHAHAHA! OMG. Love this!

EttyOop said...

*dies laughing from the cute strangeness of small people*

jarvenpa said...

I love your kids. And you are presumably out of the basement now and the evil tornadoes have gone away?

delilah s. dawson said...

Yes, we definitely survived the tornadoes and had a fantastic day. =) In fact, there was no damage and nothing scary happened at all, at least not near us. We were very lucky. Thanks for asking!