Friday, September 30, 2011

less Jo, more Blair

As I get older, I find that I get more vain.

Wait, that's not right. I'm probably maintaining the same amount of vaining, but I put a lot more work into my appearance than I used to. You have to, when you're not 22 with knee-length hair, I guess.

I spent 10 minutes putting my wet hair into a French twist this morning. Ten bobby pins. And the whole thing fell out before I'd even turned off my road. But I tried, goddammit. I TRIED. I even took that picture, just so I could prove to the world that I had tried something beyond my basic wet-hair-day-dorky-librarian bun.

And recently, I started painting my fingernails for the first time.

In... pretty much my whole life.

And now I'm hooked.

So that's dark purple with an overlay of lime green glitter, then I painted the tips dark purple because they got so freakin' chipped.

At first, I was mystified as to the chippage.

"But I use an anti-chip top coat!" I wailed to myself, in private.

Then I remembered that I'm a WRITER.
I spend 50% of my waking life typing on a laptop.

Chippity chip chip, baby.

That color was especially chosen because it matches my car.

I love matching my car.

And I'm contemplating a wrist tattoo, when I sell the next book. I'm trying it out, drawing it differently every day. The current one is horizontal, which works better.

And that's from tonight.

It's a deep, dark, twilight-ly purple called Chinatown.

I want to lick it.

But I tried that, and it tasted TERRIBLE.

Not like shnozberries at all.

So I was curious.

Why, after 33 years, would I suddenly start painting my nails?

And then it hit me.

Every single color in there contains the word

Finally, nail polishes dry too fast for me to ruin them.

I'm the least patient person that has ever existed.
I'm already bored with this blog post, and I haven't even finished writing it.

But I can wait 60 seconds.

So I think that's the difference.

I finally have time to feel pretty.




Blair said...

I just saw this YouTube video of 10 easy everyday hairstyles. I watched it in rapt attention. Alas, I really think this chick has different hair than I do. My hair laughs in the face of the adorable bobbypins this girl uses to hold things in place. But anyway, maybe you will like?

Kayla said...

Try Spin Pins. They work really well keeping my twist in place.

delilah, the unruly helpmeet said...

Hmm... I've been contemplating Spin Pins but couldn't decide if they were worth $7. My hair is heavy as hell, made of liquid iron and drow blood. But Spin Pins could be the answer...

Kayla said...

Mine is much the same way. They are so worth it! I couldn't put my hair up without getting a migraine before I got Spin Pins. They don't pull or tug. Best $7 I've ever spent

Tanya said...

I waited until I was over 30 to start behaving like a girl (a girl who was a teenager in the 90s that is). So a couple weeks ago I streaked my hair blue and wore a skirt to work for the first time. I'm over it. Going back to black hair this weekend =)

stephanie constantin said...

spin pins are awesome, D! They work for my hair, which is crazy long and thick right now. Granted I usually need three of them to do the trick.

delilah, the unruly helpmeet said...

Three? But that's... $15! Think of all the cake I could buy with that!

Silver Thistle said...

I found I was the same way when in my 30's. Exactly. The amount of 60 sec polish I went through was obscene (personal favourite - Raisin). Then I hit 40 and I have to say, you come to a point where you just don't give a sh.. well you don't really care so much. You still make the effort, you just don't care if you don't cut the mustard some days.

The hair thing, I've got thick, heavy, shoulder blade length hair too and that's the best sort of hair to twist up and use a pencil to pin it. Or a chopstick, or a biro, or a...lemme think what else I've used in a pinch...oh yeah, a crochet hook. Holds it tighter than a drum.

I'd have to show you the 10 sec technique rather than type it but I'm sure there's probably a youtube vid somewhere...and if not, why not?

Anonymous said...

Silver Thistle, I have a rad collection of hair sticks, from hand-turned Bubinga wood to stainless steal forged to old knitting needles. But something in me really wants to master the French twist. It's like my hair Kilimanjaro.



delilah, the unruly helpmeet said...

I gave in and bought some spin pins.


These things are rad! All the bun, none of the lame rubber band.

All that's left is to see what happens when I try to take them out.