Good news, everybody!
We bought a turkey hat.
Best $2.50 I spent this week,
aside from the $3.94 I paid for my new Sherlock Holmes hat.
But that's beside the point.
I told the boy to say, "I'LL GOBBLE YOU UP!"
Instead, he said, "TURKEY GONNA EAT YOUR FACE!"
and then attacked people.
So that was some excellent improvisation on his part.
If you're at Target, and you want to be hilarious,
I highly recommend TURKEY HAT.
Or, if you're a bit more morbid, you can get the one that looks like a roast turkey.
Then you could wear it to dinner on Thanksgiving,
and pretend like nothing weird was going on.
"What are you looking at, Aunt Mabel?"
you could ask innocently.
"Is there some cranberry sauce on my face?"
You should do that.
Or just get the one we have and act like a goof.
We also taught ours how to break dance.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a date.
With a book.