Monday, July 25, 2011

meet tootbucket


So this is Tootbucket.

For no apparent reason, my son decided his name wasn't working out.

He renamed himself Tootbucket.

His sister's new name is Poopindown.

(Of course, she doesn't know that yet.)

He's currently standing at the window in his Buzz Lightyear underpants,
yelling at the rain.

"RAIN, YOU TOP NOW! NO, RAIN! YOU GO 'WAY! BAD!"

Pause for effect while the rain pours down.

He looks at me meaningfully.

"DAT MY LIGHTNING. YOU NO CAN HAVE IT. DAT MINE."

So you're just going to have to get used to Tootbucket Stormlord. He's probably going to be a much gentler weather proprietor than Thor, so that's nice. Instead of sacrificing white bulls and unruly virgins, you'll have to offer up Captain America figures and Space Goldfish if you want to stay on his good side.

Oh, and his hammer is small, red, and plastic.

*

Tomorrow, I'll show you the sticker I got for the back of my sweet new ride.

Hint: ZOMBIES.

*


2 comments:

OSTRICH MAN!!! said...

Please tell Tootbucket that it's rained too much lately in Vienna. I could use a few sunny days.

delilah, the unruly helpmeet said...

I told him. He said, NO I DON'T LIKE DAT.

So there you have it. That'll be one bag of Space Goldfish, please.