In case you weren't riveted to my Tweetstream yesterday afternoon-- and if not, honestly, what else do you have to do? What do you mean, you actually have a life?-- then I assure you that the monster in the photo is now somewhere in the sewer system below us, probably having ginormous, half-crocodile mutant babies.
I was not aware, before then, that some spiders were cream-filled.
This one, like the newest abomination by Oreo, was double-triple-super-stuffed.
It lived under my dishwasher and stalked me for hours.
It slapped my cat.
I swear to God, it slapped my cat.
And now I'm afraid to do dishes.
At least, that's what I'm telling Dr. Krog.