Friday, March 25, 2011
tag. you suck.
I don't often post rants about products or companies, but my afternoon has fallen prey to a new entry on the Enemies List:
The Tag by Leapfrog
This magical pen/wand helps kids learn to read, or, in my house, enthralls them with stories and teaches them words like "ornithologist." But it's not as magical as it seems, because for each $14 Tag book you buy, you have to hook the Tag pen/wand up to the computer and upload the audio files.
Doesn't sound like much, does it? A few 2MB files?
I didn't think so. Until I tried to hook up the Biscuit's Tag pen to upload the cool new interactive map of the United States we bought for her this morning.
That was at about 1:30. It's now 3:32.
IT'S STILL NOT DONE.
Seriously. First, the pen was out of batteries. So I put in fresh ones. Then it wouldn't connect, so I jiggled cables, switched USB slots, pressed buttons. Still, it wouldn't work. The little green "reading your tag" bar came to mean nothing, until we were a family of Tag nihilists.
Now, mind you, if you don't press a button on the tag, it shuts down every 5 minutes, and you have to start the entire download process again. So maybe you're putting one kid down to nap or writing an article and forget to push a button.
Back to the beginning.
So here I am, anxious, snapping at my four-year-old who is incapable of understanding why she can't play with her new toy. What am I supposed to tell her?
I don't know why it won't work, sweetie. They made a crummy product, which is why your first one broke when dropped once on the carpet. And now your second one isn't working. I doubt you'll get a third one, because I'm not giving them any more money in exchange for your tears and my time. Welcome to 2011, where toys aren't meant to last even one year.
I think for the next holiday we'll just get the children some interestingly-shaped rocks. At least they won't let us down.
Welcome to the Enemies List, Tag. Have fun hanging out with Best Buy in hell.