Thursday, March 31, 2011

the alien now living in my body

The alien now living in my body:

* decided to try the lifestyle in The 4-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss for at least one month.

* felt pretty awful at the start of the week.

* then started feeling better.

* lots better.

* likes eating only protein, legumes, and greens.

* thinks Diet Dr. Pepper is 1000x too sweet.

* drinks a lot of water, which she used to hate.

* was really excited to purchase a kettlebell.

* was so excited about said kettlebell that she did more exercise than she was supposed to do.

* then went and played 90 minutes of tennis and

* even did some random sprinting, just for the hell of it.

* is looking forward to HOLY ENORMOUS CRAZY GIGANTIC BINGE DAY Saturday.

* but is also looking forward to getting clean again on Sunday.

* has already lost weight and looks better, even if it was only water and bloating and sugar inflammation and whatever the dieting crazies/gurus say it is.

* has a dip between her ribcage and belly again, and LIKES IT.

* possibly feels the best she's ever felt in her life.

* is extremely surprised by that.

* needs to go to sleep to make sure she gets more than 8 hours.

* is the best damn parasite I've ever had.

I, for one, welcome you, new weird alien ruler.

Let's look freakin' awesome in a bathing suit by June, what say you?


Anonymous said...

Awesome....good work unruly helpmeet.

dr. krog

delilah, the unruly helpmeet said...

And it's not even an April Fools Day joke!

Taylor said...

So at first, I thought this diet involved eating a tapeworm. Now I understand that there isn't literally an alien within you. Phew.

delilah, the unruly helpmeet said...

I'm actually pretty sure we're in some sort of food cult.

Last night, we had hanger steak and lamb chops with black beans and avocado salad at a Mexican restaurant, and everyone kept stopping by to apologize and give us chips. They seriously couldn't comprehend that we wanted no chips.

charissimo said...

Eh, I'm waiting for the 20-minute orgasm. ;D

Heather A. said...

Hahaha! The orgasm isn't 20 minutes! What a rip off... :)

I also feel great on slow-carb eating. It's liberating to not be hungry all the time, thinking of food and having cravings.

It was a totally monumental morning when I realized it was time for lunch and I hadn't Though About Food since breakfast.

I love this kind of crazy.