Monday, September 20, 2010

when Jimbos attack

So I just finished my second revision of the next book, a YA zombie farce. I know it's pretty common for a writer to love each successive book even more than its predecessors, but I would seriously make out with this book if I could.

It's called ATTACK OF THE BATSH*T BIMBOS.

Anyway, I realized that there were some flubs in the naming conventions, and that characters called Tom and John who were both boring middle-aged guys needed some more differentiation. I'd even mixed them up several times myself.

Therefore, I renamed the nasty one, Tom, after this fat ginger kid who tormented me in middle school. Jimbo, you used to kick soccer balls at my head and laugh. Now I've named a lame villain after you. Congratulations!

So I did a Find & Replace in my shiny new (sample of) Word. But I didn't know about all the fancy bells and whistles. I just said "Find Tom or John, Replace with Jimbo". But there's a reason for that little "exact case?" checkbox, as super cool literary agent Jennifer Laughran explained last night on her own blog.

So guess what, Miss Smarty-pants Writer?

Tom isn't just a name. It's a pretty common collection of letters.

tomorrow became Jimboorrow

stomach became sJimboach

bottom became botJimbo

automatic became auJimboatic

And in my book, people aim a lot of auJimboatics at zombies.

And in one truly spectacular flub, my character informed her would-be rapist that, "I wouldn't do you even if you looked like the hot young version of Jimbony Depp."

I spent the morning correcting the 100+ mentions of Jimbo that the book didn't need.

And now I'm going to go celebrate like a real American.

I'm going to go slide my botJimbo into a booth and fill my sJimboach with chicken and lemonade.

2 comments:

nova said...

HAHAHAHAHA I love it when things are taken too literally.

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious. Also, call me tomorrow to discuss plans for next week, eh?