Tuesday, September 21, 2010

my little heathen

(note: We are not particularly religious people. Our kids go to an Episcopalian preschool that we love, but we like to say that Jesus was a very nice man who just wanted everyone to get along and be good. Biscuit has chapel every week, and she brings home some interesting tales.)

biscuit: We had chapel today, you know.

me: Did you sing any songs?

biscuit: Yeah, but I don't want to sing it or say it.

me: Did you talk about any stories?

biscuit: Yeah, there was a story about a little bitty guy.

me: Was it David and Goliath?

biscuit: No, it was a real human person, but he was itty-bitty-teeny-tiny, so so small.

me: What'd he do?

biscuit: Uh, he, like, sat in a tree to see Jesus.

me: And what else.

biscuit: And Jesus was standing under the tree talking about stuff, and he had a cane. LIKE YODA, MOMMY.

me: I think you mean a staff. A walking stick.

biscuit: Yeah, Jesus looks like a daddy, but he must be a old guy, to have a cane like that.

me: Jesus only lived to be 33, I think. But he walked a lot. Maybe the cane helped him walk.

biscuit: Or maybe he did too much jiujitsu and had to have a surgery, like daddy.

me: They didn't have jiujitsu back then. But what happened after the little dude sat in a tree to hear Jesus talk?

biscuit: He invited Jesus over for dinner!

me: What do you think they ate for dinner?

biscuit: Uh, probably some pizza.

me: Do you think Jesus likes pizza?

biscuit: Yeah, and probably some milk. Wait, what if the PIZZA was SHAPED LIKE JESUS??? That would be really cool, huh?

me: Yeah, it would be a lot of fun to eat some Jesus pizza.

biscuit: AND THEN HE COULD EAT HISSELF!!! HA HA HA! I AM SO FUNNY!

*

Wait until she grows up and learns about transubstantiation.

It's going to blow her little mind.

5 comments:

amulbunny's random thoughts said...

I betcha they were singing about Zachias, a wee little man, who was up in a tree.

Heather said...

Yup, Zachias. Now I have this song that I sang as a little kid stuck in my head. Zachias was a wee little man, a wee little man was he!...

I wish I had had your daughter's imagination as I child...Sunday School would have been much different.

K A B L O O E Y said...

I had a film student once who made a short film about a religious guy who got a pizza delivered and opened the box to find a flaming pentagram. I don't really recall the reason for the pizza from hell except that everyone thought it was a cool effect. Jesus pizza would have been nicer...

Kate Hart said...

ROFL. OMG I love it.

If we ever get the chance to hang out IRL, I am on that like white on rice.

Delilah S. Dawson said...

Okay, Kate. It's a promise. We're making a pizza shaped like Jesus, and then we're taking pics of ourselves eating it to post on Twitter. Pinky swear!

And, yeah, it was Zachias. But we were pronouncing it wrong, so it took 2 hours and a lot of Googling to figure it out.