Tuesday, August 17, 2010

the krog shred: a journey into darkness

I've told you guys lots and lots of stuff about my beloved Dr. Krog. And you've even seen his special birthday signs for, like, three years running.

But I've never shown you topless pictures of him.


Until now.

You can look, but if you touch, SUCKA MC GOTS TO PAY.

That's right. My science fiction loving, video gaming, Cartoon Network-watching psychologist husband is totally cut. And even though I think he's kind of a crazy person for working out as much as he does and eating turkey cold cuts and mixed nuts for breakfast, I really don't mind living with the results of his toil.

But I admit he's crazy. See?

Briefly, here is his story.

It started with too many club sandwiches and chocolate milkshakes…and um, not enough exercise.

After hip surgery last December, I obviously had to rest up and recover. And I did! [My fabulously gorgeous wife] was a godsend, nursing me back to health with laughs, smiles and an endless supply of whatever I wanted to eat. She is the best.

I may have enjoyed myself a bit too much, though. By last March I was staring in the mirror, looking at my formerly ground fighting-conditioned body and wondering, "Wah happen?" My year-round 2-pack was now a minikeg. I was turning into a skinny fat guy.

Enter Krogshred: 135 Days of diet, exercise, and crazy.

Like Heart of Darkness, but for my abs.

Let me give a shout out to friend and personal trainer Anthony Wilkins at North Point Personal Training in Roswell, GA. Although I did the Krogshred alone, every exercise I did I learned from Anthony, a really great trainer and a father himself.

Pounds lost: 23 (D says: Seriously? From where?!?!)

Friends alienated: 2

Number of times wife heard the phrase “My abs/pecs/biceps are really starting to show”: 200+

Pounds of protein purchased: 10

Times caught staring into mirror at restaurants when I should have been looking at far more beautiful wife: 7

Dollars spent on supplements and gym membership in 135 days: $260 (D says: Don't be tellin' me that, yo. That is not frugal, no sir!)

Number on my “pack”: 4-6 depending on the day…

Number of chores done during entire 135 days: Um like 8 or so? Took the trash out like 4 times. Mowed lawn couple of times. I don’t know. Almost nothing. I didn't do jack around the house. Sheesh. Thank god for my wife. She’s a saint.(D says: YES. YOU SO OWE ME.)

Number of times KROG SMASH: not as much as you'd guess.

And it's just the beginning. There's more crazy to come. (D says: NO, PLEASE. 4-PACK IS PLENTY GOOD FOR ME. LET'S JUST GO HAVE SOME FROZEN YOGURT AND CHILL, OKAY, CRAZY PERSON?)

I'm proud of you, Dr. Krog.

p.s. Dr. Krog did not actually do the Shred, like I'm doing. He did crazy, 2-hour long workouts with exercises like Living Death and Crazy Sevens and, I don't know, Total Sonic Deathmonkey Throes of Unimaginable Pain. So don't think that Jillian's videos can do that. You'll be disappointed.


Tanya said...

Dr. Krog made my science fiction loving, video gaming, Cartoon Network-watching, World o' Warcraft playing, military husband qq.

He thinks he's turning into a skinny fat guy and says it's because of my cooking. Not my fault. Somebody else's. Boom.

dk said...

If Doc Krog wants some of his life back, he might want to go over to a less time consuming regimen. (Here's the sales pitch...but the product is FREE!)


How about workouts that can be as short as 3 minutes or a couple of 5K runs, but all varied and all awesome? Been doing it for awhile now, and seeing serious results. The Kroginator would probably rule at it.

http://dk-workoutlog.blogspot.com to follow my journey (FREE) on the program. His trainer might even be familiar with it (judging by the workout names. My fave is "Linda, aka Three Bars of Death.")

Kristi said...

He looks great! Good for him.

I agree with dk, crossfit is AWESOME! Not that I would do it, mind you. It's my insane husband who gets up at 5:30 and does these workouts before going to the office. But he works out for 20-25minutes 3 times a week, and I'm now enjoying previously unknown, seriously hot new muscle groups on his back, arms, and abs. (He already had the legs from mountain biking.)

Jennifer said...

wowsas! looks great!

piecemeal people said...


Dr. Krog said...

I'll prolly switch over to sittin' around doing nothing. I just did all this for fun.

Just kidding, I use WoD all the time, and some of my normal workouts are only 10 minutes, with 90% HR. I do have to work around multiple jiu-jitsu injuries, so it's tricky. I don't really workout anywhere close to 2 hours a day-she's silly. And awesome.