Saturday, June 19, 2010

reading is for wienies and the dogs that eat them

Note: If this post doesn't make sense, blame the drink.
Yes, just one. I've got the tolerance of a vole.

That's the fan in t.rex's room. Since it's 96 moist degrees at night and our AC died.

Seriously. The fan is called "Windmere". I just added the other words with my Sharpie. And yes, I know it's spelled Windermere, but I couldn't help myself.

It's not like you can ever find a home appliance called The Importance of Being a Toaster.

Anyway, now that we've got our liter-airy masterpiece on display for the world, let me show you some other pictures that you don't really care about.

The kids were kicking this watermelon around the floor. So I got out my Sharpie (again) and drew the face on it, trying to imagine what a watermelon would look like saying, "Say what?"

And then Dr. Krog came out of the bathroom and saw it, staring at him, and he said, "Say what?"

And I was like, I LOVE YOU. YOU GROK ME.

Which is why, a long time ago, we made this.

Matching? What's that?

Three is a magic number.

And then there is also this.

You think it's cute now, but wait until you're enjoying the Twitter party for #worstbookever, and then this rolling tandem bike of doom clips your Achilles tendon, and all you can think about is that scene in Pet Sematary where the undead baby hides under the bed and kills the old man, and then you start thinking about that horrible Cujo-wannabe book called "The Pack" that someone wrote in the 1980's about a pack of feral dogs that eat people, but mostly their weiners, in graphic detail. And then you're like, NO, GOODNIGHT MOON IS STILL THE WORST BOOK EVER, I NEED TO TWEET THAT.

And then you remember Nicolas Sparks, and you shudder a little.

Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemonade apparently makes me very chatty. I think I'm going to channel that into book editing now, because steamy love scenes are really hard to write while small people cling to your knees and shout about apples.


Tny8 said...

I'm sure the adjective was unnecessary Lord Darlington.

delilah, the unruly helpmeet said...

THANK YOU. I fully lay the blame on Tawny's hot, silky shoulders.

jarvenpa said...

Oh, I beg of you, please write a steamy sex scene that also involves small children clinging to one's knees (though not in a perverse way, you understand), and apples.

The word tonight that I am supposed to decipher with my reading glasses is geleings. Which surely have feathers and creep about in corners.