1. Holy crap, it's a cuke! That's what I meant to say. The cucumber plant in our container garden is the first to have teeny tiny baby veggies. They look like green hedgehog fetuses growing on a vine, if you know what I mean.
2. Holy crap, it's awesome to have a mother's helper! For the uninitiated, a mother's helper is a wholesome, hardworking girl of about 12 or 13 who comes to your house and plays with your kids while you actually get crap done. It's the best thing since Belgian Chocolate Truffle powdered creamer.
3. Holy crap, the next book is almost ready for beta readers! Only 50 more pages, and V2 is ready to roll out. Any writers or otherwise critique-minded folk out there interested in about 95k of Outlander meets True Blood? Not that non-writers can't be helpful, it's just that I need an actual, hard-nosed, unapologetic critique. A beta reader must be someone who reads a lot and knows about the craft of writing and can look at both the big picture and the little niggling details, such as misspellings and using the word "clishmaclaver" too often. And someone who points out big, run-on sentences like that one, too. I'm willing to trade crits with another writer, so long as you're not writing about fallen angels.
4. Holy crap, t.rex is night weaned and sleeping 10 hours straight. IT'S AWESOME.
5. Holy crap, cold dark chocolate is waxilly wonderful. Especially the Godiva Twilight mix, which has nothing to do with the movie, I promise.
6. Holy crap, Dr. Krog is getting really buff. It's intimidating. If I told you about his workout, about this thing he does called Living Death that involves chin ups and push ups and fighting zombies, you would puke in sympathy. His arms are all veiny now. I've taken up yoga so that I can feel taller and thereby slimmer without actually approaching weights. I'm still scarred from the Shred.
7. Holy crap, kids eat a lot of fruit. i bought 1.5 pounds of grapes and a pint of strawberries at 4pm, and they're both almost gone.
8. Holy crap, I want to have a cold glass of Reisling and chat with Dr. Krog about my recent bouts of mortality salience, the new cat, and that weird dream I had about being in Sam Merlotte's bar/toy store and saying, "When a pretty girl asks you to dance, you don't tell her to watch you juggle. You dance."
9. So I'm going to do that.
11. Seriously, don't you have commuting to do? Go commute.