Tuesday, June 8, 2010

holy cupe, it's a crack!

1. Holy crap, it's a cuke! That's what I meant to say. The cucumber plant in our container garden is the first to have teeny tiny baby veggies. They look like green hedgehog fetuses growing on a vine, if you know what I mean.

2. Holy crap, it's awesome to have a mother's helper! For the uninitiated, a mother's helper is a wholesome, hardworking girl of about 12 or 13 who comes to your house and plays with your kids while you actually get crap done. It's the best thing since Belgian Chocolate Truffle powdered creamer.

3. Holy crap, the next book is almost ready for beta readers! Only 50 more pages, and V2 is ready to roll out. Any writers or otherwise critique-minded folk out there interested in about 95k of Outlander meets True Blood? Not that non-writers can't be helpful, it's just that I need an actual, hard-nosed, unapologetic critique. A beta reader must be someone who reads a lot and knows about the craft of writing and can look at both the big picture and the little niggling details, such as misspellings and using the word "clishmaclaver" too often. And someone who points out big, run-on sentences like that one, too. I'm willing to trade crits with another writer, so long as you're not writing about fallen angels.

4. Holy crap, t.rex is night weaned and sleeping 10 hours straight. IT'S AWESOME.

5. Holy crap, cold dark chocolate is waxilly wonderful. Especially the Godiva Twilight mix, which has nothing to do with the movie, I promise.

6. Holy crap, Dr. Krog is getting really buff. It's intimidating. If I told you about his workout, about this thing he does called Living Death that involves chin ups and push ups and fighting zombies, you would puke in sympathy. His arms are all veiny now. I've taken up yoga so that I can feel taller and thereby slimmer without actually approaching weights. I'm still scarred from the Shred.

7. Holy crap, kids eat a lot of fruit. i bought 1.5 pounds of grapes and a pint of strawberries at 4pm, and they're both almost gone.

8. Holy crap, I want to have a cold glass of Reisling and chat with Dr. Krog about my recent bouts of mortality salience, the new cat, and that weird dream I had about being in Sam Merlotte's bar/toy store and saying, "When a pretty girl asks you to dance, you don't tell her to watch you juggle. You dance."

9. So I'm going to do that.

10. Goodnight.

11. Seriously, don't you have commuting to do? Go commute.


Finn's Mom said...

How did you manage the nightweaning? Finn's still nursing like 6 times a night. - Austin

Liam said...

Outlander meets TrueBlood seems rather awesome.

Delilah S. Dawson said...

Austin, it was painful. We had to do some modified CIO with lots of snuggles and hugs. But after one bad night, he went straight to 8 hours of sleep, and it was so worth it.

nova said...

I'm excellent at critiquing...super mean. Haha

Jennifer said...

I'll volunteer again, but put me down if you can't find enough real authors. I'm an Auditor by trade so hard nosed is definitely not a problem for me, and I have to write reports so I get basic grammar as well (even if you can't tell that by reading my blog, ahem). But I would definitely be willing to help out if needed.

Anonymous said...

Does the juggling dream have anything to do with your short middle school career as a unicyclist & juggler wannabe?

Katiri said...

what quantity pack is Krog gonna get up to?

jarvenpa said...

I'd be more than happy to be a beta again (hmmm, was I a fish in the rice paddies once upon a time? it is getting late).
Congrats on the nightweaning. I went about it totally the opposite with my munchkins (now big grown up people, mostly). The night time nursing was the last to go for us.
But yay for sleep. I remember sleep.

Delilah S. Dawson said...

Katiri, he wants an 8-pack, but he'll settle for 4. He's got a definite 2 now. If he gets any more, he's going to be a crazy person that does nothing but drink energy/protein drinks and get pumped, and then he couldn't lounge in bed with me eating peanut butter and apples and watching Venture Bros, and that would make me sad.