me: Biscuit, I just love it when you sing.
me: I love your sweet voice.
Biscuit: Well, I really don't like it when you sing.
me: Why not?
Biscuit: Because your voice doesn't sound good. It hurts my ears.
me: When I sing, your ears hurt?
Biscuit: Yeah, pretty much.
me: Biscuit, that hurts my feelings very, very much. When we care about our friends and family, we try not to say hurtful things to them, because we love them, and we don't want them to feel bad. If you don't like something, it's better just to keep it to yourself than to hurt someone you love.
Biscuit: But it's true.
me: Dude, you hurt me.
Biscuit: Sorry. It's still true.
THE ARTIST HAS BIRTHED A CRITIC. CONSIDER ME PUNISHED.
* She's right, though. I sound like a frog eating a parakeet when I sing. It hurts my ears, too.