Sunday, March 7, 2010

day 3: dances with penguins

Day 3 of the All-New Internet Diet.

I get to use the internet from 7:30 to 8:15 this morning. Sounds easy, right?

But then this happens:
9:45 - I need new tires. Time to hop online and do research and get prices. NOPE.

10:30 - I'm using this huge, yellow book to find tire stores. Out of four tires stores, three of the guys who help me are named Brian, and they all assure me I need a different sort of tire for my car. That's okay. I'll just hope online and... NOPE.

11:00 - I'm meeting a friend for lunch and playgrounding. She's not answering her phone. I don't know whether to pack a picnic or go to a restaurant. I'll just see if she's on Facebook... NOPE.

11:30 - My mom wants to know if I saw the email from my aunt about some artwork she's offering to give me. Do I want it? They need to know now. NOPE.

11:35 - My favorite consignment sale is going on this weekend, but they've changed the hours. I don't know if they're open Saturday. And I can't find out, because NOPE.

4:40 - Returning from hours at the playground, I realize that the car bills are due today. I need to get online to pay them. But I'm not supposed to get online. But it's pretty serious stuff, being late on a bill. I call Dr. Krog, and he assures me this is quite reasonable, and also to check my Gmail inbox.


Do it anyway.

I pay the bills, feeling like a junkie standing near someone else to smell the crack on their clothes, if that's possible. I don't look at the 15 emails in my Yahoo. I check Gmail, where an agent has requested a partial on SCRITCH. But I'm not going to send it right now, because I'm not supposed to be on the internet.

You get the idea. I'm even dreaming that I'm on the internet when I'm not supposed to be. It's pretty funny, actually, waking up from a nightmare, thinking, "Oh, I'm such an addict. Why didn't I say no to Twitter?"

But the result of the experiment is that I don't feel guilty at night. I spend more time with my kids actually focused on them. And they behave better. And sleep better. And I say 'no' less. And I am actually cleaning the house and reading and writing instead of getting caught in endless loops.

In other words, the Polar Expedition is going well, and the penguins have accepted me as one of their own.


miss. chief said...

That sounds like an impossible day. At least five of those were valid reasons to check, I think.

Anonymous said...

Yes, sometimes using the internet is being smart because you are using a tool to help you in your day-to-day living. Think back to pre-internet days when using the phone book was the best way to find certain important information.
Now the smartest, easiest way is using the 'net. Why would you NOT use it it and possibly keep yourself from finding the best tire around? That's important...keeping you car in good repair. You use it to drive your family around it right. The problem lies in knowing when to quit using it for entertainment and begin using it as a tool.

Fairly Odd Mother said...

I'm twitching for you.

I'd give you a "pass" on checking those few things, but I agree that it's very easy to get sucked down the rabbit hole of, "oh let me just check this email and this twitter page and this blog and oh----is it dinner time already?"

I hand wrote a bunch of things today so that I would be outside and not online, but now I have a whole bunch of pages to type and I feel like I'm now doing twice the work!

urfaqhesse said...

I'm proud of you, and you make me laugh. thank you :)

Anonymous said...

This is crazy. You're not in a Skinner Box, lady!

Use it as a tool - use it responsibly. Cocaine is a dangerous drug, but is used in medicine. Treat the internet the same way. You get 45 minutes of fun on the internet each day - but can also use it as a tool.

Just one guy's opinion, of course. And I don't have any kids and I don't live near you, so I ain't calling. End of April, maybe.

Anonymous said...

I should do something similar, but I won't. Not now anyway.

msprimadonna67 said...

I'd jump into your experiment, but then I wouldn't be able to get online to follow the success of YOUR experiment.