Monday, February 1, 2010

welcome to my brain. did you bring snacks?

Today's Grocery List:

eggs
red crap
razzburries
TP
PT
wood
woodburnerthingy
ask about tar baby
s&c
krogular
kreamer
plecostomus
cat fud
milk
catsup
baguette
cheez
my apples
my yogurt
t.rex's smushy fruit

It all makes sense to me.

I misspell things on purpose, just to amuse myself.

I use the abbreviations for toilet paper and paper towels from when my parents owned a janitorial company when I was in high school.

And I needed a plecostomus, one of those hideously ugly fish that sucks gloop off the wall of the fish tank.

But they were out of those, so we got a snail instead. The Biscuit picked him out. His name is Doraville SpongeBob SquareSnail. For the next five minutes at least. This tells me that she's been hanging out with the 4 year olds.

I do not approve.

Still, I often wonder about what happens when some poor shmo picks up my fallen grocery list in the parking lot and shakes his head at the imaginative but illiterate idjit who has 'cat fud' on the list because the Gary Larson cartoon makes her smile.

Even though she doesn't own a cat.


See? Doesn't that make you smile?

Good. Now go get some bacon and put some kreamer in your mug of piping hot krogular, and let's watch some Buffy.

8 comments:

Alissa said...

See, I got the cat fud reference right away, but then I do have 3 cats. Also I'm really curious about ask about tar baby.

Delilah S. Dawson said...

Yeah. Dr. Krog said I should explain that one.

I'm teaching a workshop for at-risk teens, and we're going to do giant self-portraits on this certain kind of heavy, black roofing paper. I don't know what it's called, but when I asked another artist, he said, "It's tar, baby. Roofing paper."

So I think of it as tar baby roofing paper. I think that might be really horribly offensive, but it's stuck in my head.

Jennifer said...

I love Buffy.

stinestrain said...

what is your red crap? I know what 'red crap' would mean on my list, but I am guessing it is not raspberry ice crystal light...

Stephanie said...

I must point out that the whole Spongebob thing did not come from my 4 year old! That show is banned! As is Yo Gabba Gabba with the giant orange, singing, dancing, diseased "peeper". Who the hell came up with that character?? Totally off topic....great grocery list! :D

Tracie said...

Spongebob.....I'm getting a headache just thinking about it. I kept that show off of my television for as long as I could.....then one day my husband saw an episode of it in a waiting room somewhere, and immediately came home and introduced it to our daughter. I still haven't forgiven him!

Important question....what is red crap??

Delilah S. Dawson said...

'Red crap' is a term coined by stinestrain. To us, it's Crystal Light Immunity blend in Cherry/Pomegranate flavor mixed with Emergen-C.

And it was the first thing I barfed up last night, so I may never drink it again.

Blech.

Alice Istanbul said...

I like that you bought a snail (I have a little known obsession with them).