Sunday, January 17, 2010

your nickname is 'laser'

Have you seen this movie?

No, of course you haven't. You weren't big into cheesy teeny movies in 2001.

But I was, because I'm a huge dork.

What could be better than a college movie starring Jason Segel, some blond guy, Big Pete from The Adventures of Pete and Pete, and Jason Schwartzman doing what he does best-- being a complete freak?

I don't want to talk plot. I just want to tell you funny quotes and show you pictures.

See, this is Cool Ethan from Heineraker Hall. He plays the synthesizer, makes hair dolls, and rides a unicycle, although the other guys in the unicycle club won't really talk to him. He's in love with some chick that some other dude wants to steal, and blah blah who cares about plot?

Cool Ethan is the kind of guy who asks a doctor why he's wearing pajamas, and when the doctor tells him that they are O.R. scrubs, he says, "O, R they?"

But look, here's sweet ol' Donna from That 70's Show, and in Slackers, she's a slut who does despicable things to herself on screen while Big Pete feels awkward because, in this movie, he just wants to hang out with guys in a naked and thoroughly un-gay way.

Jason Segel makes his pecs dance. Cool Ethan gets in a fight with a hobo. Big Pete sings a duet with his... anatomy. I'll never be able to hear "She'll Be Comin' Round the Mountain" without cringing.

Anyway, since I can't find it on YouTube, I want you to read the song that Cool Ethan plays for The Girl, standing below her dorm window in a 1980's wind suit with an electric synth. It goes like this:

I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I'm the kind of guy who will, not insist that you go on the Pi-ill, I'm cool with splitting the bi-ill, and I'll kill who you want me to KILL! And you can smack my bottom, I don't got no condoms, we've got a lot in common, you and me. Don't you see, don't you see, d-d-d-d-don't you see, my heart is bea-beat-ing, t-t-ting, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-OH! Angela! Oh how I need you so. Cause your eyes are like two shining blue rockets in the night, come to take me away, come abduct me, or maybe you won't, and you'll wake up when I cry, and don't let me hurt you, just by accident, I probably won't, but just in case I do, maybe - AH! Fudge.

The "ah, fudge" part occurs because someone hits him in the face with a frisbee to shut him up.

I could quote this movie all day. Seriously. Like a fourteen year old boy. But I try to keep this blog mostly PG, so I'll just link to the IMDB page, and you can see for yourself. Or, better yet, watch the trailer.

Or, best of all, Netflix it! Or buy it for $2, because no one's ever heard of it.


Theta Mom said...

Alright, based on this fabulous recommendation, I'll have to check it out! lol

BTW, I am just stumbling on your blog now, somehow found you played along in the Theta Mom tag back in November! I loved reading your list and glad I found your blog!

Looking forward to blogging with you. :)

leigh said...

I love this movie. Cool Ethan is the best and that song that he sings at the end is out of control!

urfaqhesse said...

ok, i haven't seen it, but i just read the imdb quotes. this is my favorite:
Ethan: I want to make sure that you and I are best friends - "gnome" matter what.
Angela: Ethan, that's a troll.
Ethan: "Gnome" it's not.

Anonymous said...

I've never even heard of it.