Utterly freakin' speechless, people.
When I slid into that booth at Thumb's Up Diner today, I noticed that the dude in the next booth with his back to me was mighty cool. I mean, he was wearing a kickass hat, and the back of his head simply exuded awesomeness.
Then he stuck out his foot to leave, and I thought, "Wow, that is one stylish dude. I wonder if I should compliment him on being tremendously stylish and cool?"
Then he stood up, and I thought, "He's good looking, too. Fascinating bone structure."
And then I thought:
HOLY MOTHERLOVIN' SHIZZLE! THAT'S FREAKIN' ANDRE BENJAMIN! I'M BREATHIN' THE SAME AIR AS ANDRE 3000 OF OUTKAST! HIS MOVIE IDLEWILD SENT ME INTO LABOR! ANDRE BENJAMIN IS IN MY HOME TOWN, SPREADING HIS MOLECULES OF RADITUDE AROUND MY CHICKEN FINGERS!
And then Andre Benjamin nodded and smiled at us, and I was completely speechless.
I gave him my brightest, dumbest, most amazed smile. The smile reserved only for my wedding day, really handsome draft horses, and slices of that certain red velvet cake from that little bakery in Athens.
And then he got in his Range Rover and drove into history, one of only two celebrities I've ever seen in person. That is, if you count that time that I stood behind wrestler Goldberg on the escalator and tried to figure out if his neck was bigger than my waist.
I love you, Andre 3000.
Thanks for smiling at me and deciding to eat eggs today.