Sunday, January 24, 2010

i apologize in advance

Sorry, guys.

I've never wanted this to be a "look at my kids doing crap" blog.

But I seem to be doing that a lot lately.

It's probably because all of my creative energy is going into writing and editing, and all of my brainful time is going into the query process. That leaves very little of my already meager resources for Photshopping myself into movies and opining on motherhood.

At least the kids are cute, right?

Why would Disney sue us?

Because that's the Biscuit's drawing of Ariel, the Little Mermaid.

Spot on, don't you think?

And now that I think about it, maybe there is something more going on in this post. Maybe it's a post about juggling your career or creative pursuits with being a parent. About finding time to think and feel in between snapshots and Magnadoodling and zombie children whose fathers frighten Chuck Norris.

Sometimes I feel guilty for putting so much of myself into my work. For me, it's writing and painting, and I don't get to do half as much as I'd like to. If I woke up at 7am and went to bed at midnight and didn't have two children, I still wouldn't get to explore all of my ideas and impulses.

It drives me straight up batty, yo.

And don't even get me started on how much energy it takes to get a book published. I probably use 700 calories a day developing a thick skin that can repel rejection. And that's in addition to nursing Cap'n 8 Teef up there.

Anyways, I have to constantly remind myself that whenever something is taken away, it is replaced by something else. I sometimes feel bad for having a second child and drastically reducing my time with the Biscuit... but she gets an awesome relationship with her brother. I feel bad for shooing my kids away so I can write... but they get a mother who is passionate, connected to her creativity, mentally healthy, assertive, and following her dreams.

I pour all of myself into my writing career.... and you guys get pictures of my kids.

Sorry. At least it's not that thing I found in my shower drain, right?


Eoywin said...

Your kids are cute! And your blog is still funny, so I'll still be reading.

I wish my blog was half as interesting as yours is :D

Leslie said...

I'm with Eoywin there!

Alice Istanbul said...

Just know that you're not alone in feeling guilty about the juggling game of motherhood/artistic endeavors/career aspirations. Maybe this weekend we can leave the kids with their dads, and you and me can go get a pedicure or something. Or a chai latte at the very least. Whaddya say?

urfaqhesse said...

Reading about them makes my year.

Delilah S. Dawson said...

Alice, I'm all for that. Or even a Thursday night in Old Roswell. It would be divine to finish a sentence...