Monday, November 23, 2009

heavy petting. or not.

Oh, yes, friends. We haz fish.

I don't know why, really.

Maybe because I want a dog, but without the constant trips outside and chewing and sprinkling on the carpet and I'm sorry we have to go home, but Patches has to piddle.

Maybe because I want a cat, but without the claws and the meowing and the hairballs on the stairs and the No, Dr. Krog, it most definitely is your turn to do the litterbox, or so help me, I'll dump it in your sock drawer.

I even thought about getting a bird, but then I thought about all that incessant tweeting. And the little pooflickies on the wall. And the fact that I would have to turn up the thermostat above 58 degrees.

So not worth it.

And that's why we now have Omelet and Dr. Beardface.

That's Dr. Beardface. The brave one. I named him after one of the characters on Scrubs because he has a beard-shaped spot on his face. And it makes me giggle a little every time I say Let's go feed Dr. Beardface.

That's Omelet. Omelet is the shy one that's still hiding behind a plant. The Biscuit named her. It went like this:

Me: What do you want to name your fish?
The Biscuit: Dr. Barleyhead.
Me: You can't name your fish Dr. Beardface, because I named *my* fish Dr. Beardface. Think of a new name.
The Biscuit: Um.... Omla.
Me: That's not a real word. Can you think of a good name?
The Biscuit: Um... Om... Om-ah-la... Ombla... Ombleeeee....
Me: Are you trying to say omelet?
The Biscuit: Uh... yeah. Omblit.
Me: Great! Your fish is named Omelet?
The Biscuit: No, her name is Dr. Bardleface.

And here is the proud new pet owner with her fishy friends.

Anybody want to place a bet on the lifespan of our aquatic amis? Even without considering the nitrogen cycle and the inherent genetic luck of animals that cost 27 cents each, I have my doubts as to their future home in a koi pond.


leigh said...

My son named our fish "Shrektractorscooter"

He lived for 3 months.

I'll give yours about that long. It could've gone longer but Griffin kept petting ours.

No good!


Alissa said...

I kind of like Omelet as a fish name. I remember having a fish named Dweezil when I was younger, and my sister definitely had one named Ramsey Bubbles. There were others. There was a certain planter on our deck that became an unofficial fish graveyard. I wonder what ever happened to that planter.

K a b l o o e y said...

Love this post. If they survive, I'm hoping for a children's book called Omelet and Dr. Beardface. In fact, you could almost turn the post into a children's book. Mo Willems'd make millions and spawn a whole series. Why not you?

Ericka said...

I can't believe you got fishies. Lots of fun and good job on the names.

gardengirl said...

we got fish for james birthday - the only advice I can give is feed them sparingly- they do not respond to three square meals a day- except by going belly up.

urfaqhesse said...

I'm a fish killer.

That's is the most adorable pic of biscuit I've seen in two days.

Jennifer said...

We had a fish. And that fucker lived way longer than I wanted it to. I finally got tired of cleaning the tank and let it get all disgusting and it died. I was happy.

Leslie said...

Wunnerful post!

jarvenpa said...

And make sure their bowl is big enough so that when they suffer existential angst they do not end up on the floor, writhing.

You make me recall my fish named Tomato. She was red. I thought.

We had goldfish in a bowl for a couple years until the cat ate them (if you get a cat, cover the bowl).

I now have my own, very own, unnamed goldfish and some little black fishies called mosquito fish here in Northern Calif. in an outdoor fish tub. Very soothing.

Miss Dot said...

Fantastic naming job. I give 'em a month. Keep us posted.

Tater Tot Mom said...

Love the names! I'm sure if we had a fish, Spencer would be doing unspeakable things to it like seeing if it could swim in the toilet or something.

Erin said...

The fishy names ROCK! I am so inspired!

Do birds require extra warmth as pets? I had no idea. Cleary I'm a moron.

We had birds when I was growing up. My little brother was allowed to name them. He pronounced them "Jack" and "Jack." At least we didn't have to try and tell them apart!

Caroline D. said...

Isabel named her fish Mr. Tootles. but she doesn't do the American "Toodles", she says it with perfect European enunciation "Too-Tles."