(My Photoshop won't open. Pretend that they have thought bubbles saying funny things, okay?
No? Pretend harder!)
I have three recommendations for you tonight, friends. But instead of the usual "Shoot, Screw, or Marry" game, I'm going with "Hear, Watch, or Eat".
The answers are pretty easy, actually, because I defy any of you to eat a compact disc or listen to a breakfast pastry.
1. Raditude by Weezer
I'm a longtime Weezer fan, and I'm not buying the Weezer brand Snuggie, so don't ask. But I do have every album. My responses to them went something like this:
Blue album - Hey, that first song is good! La la la, high school. Hello, Robert Smith.
Pinkerton - HOLY CRAP, THIS IS MY SOUL IN MUSIC FORM!!!
Green album - Island in the Sun isn't bad. What's the rest of thiZZZZZZZZZZ.
Maladroit - Wow, heavy and twinkly. I can paint to that.
Make Believe - Huh?
Red Album - Mommy, I don't like this music. I want Ben Folds.
Raditude - TURN THAT SHIZZNIT UP, KROGSTER, I GOTS TO CLEAN THE KITCHEN AND SHAKE MY THANG!
That first song is phenomenal and hearkens back to the goosebumps of the Blue album.
Well played, Rivers Cuomo. Well played.
2. Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant
My folks were kind enough to watch the monsters for a few hours today so Dr. Krog and I could do our very favorite thing in the whole world: see a movie at the movie theater. We are simple folk. And we like popcorn swimming in fake butter, a companionable bag of Reese's Pieces, and some exciting previews.* We almost went with Zombieland, but Cirque du Freak just sounded like more fun.
I would give it 3 stars. Clearly written for tweens who want to be teens but aren't up to the everlasting Mormon love of Twilight, it appeals to 10 year old boys who want to be vampires. And thirty-something moms who like pageantry, freak shows, and very long velvet coats. Dr. Krog was bored and found the editing iffie.
Bottom line: Fine holiday fun and much better than Woody Harrelson and zombies, unless one of the zombies was Juliette Lewis and he leveled her head with a shovel.
3. Krispy Kreme Pumpkin Spice Donuts
I don't care if you're a healthy eater, if you don't like pumpkin, if you don't live within 300 miles of the Kreme. Go get one. They are heaven, fried in oil, glazed with trans-fatty sugary perfection.
I'm mad at Photoshop, the popcorn gave me a bellyache, and I'm going to bed.
* I was very excited to see a preview for The Last Airbender, which was created by a cool guy I knew in high school named Bryan Konietzko with whom I once almost accidentally drove to Alabama. Seeing his name on the gigantic screen today made me proud to see a really nice, talented artist from my home town find success in Hollywood. And the movie looks pretty kickass, too. Way to go, Konietzko!**
** On another note, Avatar looks like a pretty interesting movie. If your son's GI Joe did it with your daughter's Tinkerbell doll, I think Avatar would be the result. Or maybe your son's GI Joe and Mystique from the X-Men. Or all three. What your toys do is your own business.