Query: What turns from purple to brown?
A dying violet. A rotting plum. A bruise on a tan person.
And Dr. Krog.
(He's the cute but lethal one in the middle.)*
Because I am very proud to announce that tonight my darling Dr. Krog got his brown belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. So long, purple belt! He has over 1000 hours of classes, 200+ hours of sparring, 200 to 300 hours of academic study, rabid seminar attendance, and he also teaches 5 classes a week.
Dr. Krog means business.
The whole family went to Tiger Academy of Martial Arts to make annoying squeaky noises and run around holding chess pieces during daddy's serious ceremony. Well, the kids did those things. I mainly admonished under my breath, snapped my fingers a lot, and turned the baby upside down when he got all yappy-like.
Sifu faked us all out, though, and pretended like the ceremony was over, so I wasn't recording when he called Dr. Krog's name. But I got the speech about his hard work and dedication to the academy and to training, and I also captured his turn through the gauntlet, when the other 30 students took off their belts and beat him silly. I was very sorry not to be wearing a belt at that time.
I have to say, I totally washed out of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu when he convinced me to train. He likes it because it's like chess combined with the hardest workout of your life. I HATED IT because it's like chess combined with the hardest workout of your life. After getting choked 20 times in a row, I felt pretty much done.
But Dr. Krog has an indomitable spirit, and now he's on the road to black belt, and I'll be feeding him pot roasts and pumpkin cookies to keep us his strength. Because now everybody's gonna be gunnin' for the skinny brown belt called Dr. Krog.
And I leave you with a quote from a more senior instructor:
"Dr. Krog, you got two speeds: I am asleep, and KILL. They hate you, man."
* He says he doesn't look cute in that picture, that his hair is "all messed up". Yeah, Dr. Krog. You just got beat by 30 guys with belts. You're gonna be a little froofy. Anyway, anybody who says he's not cute should know that I may suck at BJJ, but I can still choke you unconscious.**
**If you hold still long enough and don't fight much.***
***Also, please do this when I don't have the baby strapped to me, because that would be awkward, choking someone while wearing a baby.