Monday, October 26, 2009

my 3 wishes

Yes, my unruly friends. It's our old friend, Farbie, from what is possibly my most popular post of all time.

And I have come to ask the Queen of the Barbie Fairies for my three wishes.


Because no one has ever thought of that before. I am tremendously clever. Ha! Suck it, Farbie! Now I get as many wishes as I want. Let's see...

1. Help me land a literary agent and a publisher for my book. And Dr. Krog's book.

2. For the love of all that's holy, improve the immune systems of my family members so that I can get some sleep and remember how to brush my hair.

3. Segue my awesome literary agent (see #1) into a job where I browse through the slush piles and pick out interesting query letters to pursue. I would love to do that. Love it. The process reminds me of when I ran galleries and dearly enjoyed sifting through the applications to exhibit. I love beautiful, inspiring artwork almost as much as I like laughing at the heinous monstrosities. In private, of course.

4. Let me eat all the brownies, wild mushroom ravioli, chips and salsa, birthday cake, sweet potato fries, fried tofu, and iced sugar cookies that I want to without ever gaining an ounce. But in a "magical wish" way, not a "wasting disease" way.

5. Let International Foods offer their Pumpkin Spice creamer year-round. Or, at the very least, until I am sick of it and have grown freckles made of cinnamon from overconsumption.

6. Let Diana Gabaldon finish the next Outlander book in 3 days so that I can be reading it by the weekend and find out what happened to Roger, for Pete's sake.

7. Fit 9 more hours in the day so that I can find time to do all the painting, reading, and writing that I desperately wish to do. And maybe my kids can go into some sort of suspended animation at that time, too.

8. Create a dog that doesn't poop. I would love to have a dog, but I just can't deal with any more bodily functions right now.

9. Put Firefly back on the air.

10. That whole "end world hunger and let all the children hold hands and sing of freedom" thing. If you have time.

11. I'd like a hot Krispy Kreme donut RIGHT THIS SECOND.

I'll save the other kajillion for another night, but I think that should be enough to get you started.

Thanks, Farbie. If you grant wishes half as well as you taste, this is going to be a beautiful relationship.*

* Don't worry-- there's still half a slice of her in the freezer, so I'm sure she still has all her powers. Fairies are like worms, right? They regenerate? Farbie?


miss. chief said...

Make sure you specify that when you get the extra nine hours in a day you also have tons of energy to do all those things. I'm pretty sure if I had nine extra hours I'd spend six or seven of them sleeping.

Virginia Valerie said...

I agree with number 9. Can we pretend the movie never happened?

Eoywin said...

I also agree with number 9 - more Firefly for the win!

Southern Belle Mama said...

Wishing you best of luck with the literary agent pursuit...and just reading number 11 has made me crave a Krispy Kreme doughnut (or 3) and a glass of milk. Luckily, I'll be passing a KK tomorrow when I go to dance. Nevermind the fact that I'm going to exercise; one must not ignore the Hot Now sign!

Caroline D. said...

no kidding on lighting a fire under Diana's ass. I can't wait 4 years.

i want that literary query letter sifter job too. that sounds like the best. job. ever.

Casey said...

There are rarely moments in which I do not want #11. I curse Krispy Kreme for putting SOY in their donuts. That is unfair, hateful, and rude.