Saturday, October 31, 2009

groundhog breakfast haiku


Every morning, it's the exact same thing.

Two eggs, mushrooms, cheese, mini whole wheat bagel, coffee.

That, my friends, is my recipe for sanity.

But I'll admit it's pretty ugly. I hesitate to call it an 'omelet', because I imagine that somewhere a French chef has a nightmare that looks like my breakfast.

And the coffee.

If you can call it that.

Look at this stuff. It's the blind cave fish of coffee.


Not even the monkey wants it.

Somewhere, possibly down the street, a coffee aficionado is having a nightmare that looks like my coffee.

"But it's so... white. And sugary," she says, shivering. "And coffee is supposed to taste like roasted coffee beans, not hot peppermint mocha creamer. What a horrible nightmare. Jim, hold me."

Sorry, guys. It's how I roll. I still remember my first cup of coffee on vacation on the houseboat with my mom and Aunt Sunny when I was 5, sitting at the table and watching the fog on the water and the paunchy, half-naked guy next door scratch his armpit. That was good coffee. It was probably actually a little darker than the coffee I drink today. But I knew at first sip that I adored the stuff, and if loving your bastardized coffee is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

*

So here's a haiku about my breakfast:

eggs, shrooms, bagels, cheese
health with a cup of creamer
sacrosanct OR ELSE.

Anybody else want to tell me about your breakfast in haiku form? Because, much like my albino coffee, haiku makes everything better.

9 comments:

Virginia Valerie said...

need much water, stat!
finally alive again
now onto yummies

miss. chief said...

I literally said "EEW" when I saw your coffee.

Ericka said...

Coffee hot and black,
Food is just an afterthought,
No warm flavored milk!

Anonymous said...

booze booze booze booze booze,
this hair of the dog tastes like
the ass of the dog

Alicia Istanbul said...

freshly ground french roast
stronger than brewed liquid coal
forget not the cream

I think your "coffee" is my worst nightmare.

Alicia Istanbul said...

By the by, French people call that kind of coffee "jus de chaussette" - sock juice. ;)

deyoder said...

It seriously looks almost exactly like my daily breakfast. And I've eaten the same thing everyday for years too...my husband can't stand to watch me eat breakfast.

EttyOop said...

eggos on the run
no tome for a real breakfast
at least there's coffee

'Nelley said...

OMG that coffee looks just like mine when I used to use those international flavoured coffee whiteners. My fave was vanilla flavour.mmmmmm. I just wanted that sugary flavoured milk taste with a HINT of coffee flavour, lol! I get you gurl, don't worry about the rest and keep doing what you're doing! lol!