Sunday, October 11, 2009

the goobers of punkin ranch


On a beautiful, sunny fall day, there's nothing suburban goobers like so much as to drive to a farm in the country and take pictures of each other with pumpkins.

Don't ask me why.

I don't understand it myself. I suspect it's similar to the instinct that makes lemmings commit mass suicide.

Of course, it could be the utter-OMG-so-so-cuteness of bebbehs with punkins.


Seriously, it's so cute that I couldn't bring myself to write on it. I have another one where he's manhandling the pumpkin's stem, and it looks like that scene from Ghost. You know, the one that made all the middle-aged women cut their hair short and take pottery classes? Like that, but with a baby, and no Patrick Swayze, although I am awfully tempted to Photoshop his ghost into the background.

I suspect it's too soon for that joke.

RIP, Patrick. I loved you in Point Break.

Anyway, here's another gratuitous pumpkin shot:


Ta da! The Biscuit found this little gem lying in a field. An empty, muddy field. Where they apparently sprinkle baby pumpkins like so many Easter Eggs so that children can "hunt" them, and then mommies can dig through the leftover Certs and Cheerios in the bottoms of their purses for these bizarre green things called "dollars" to pay for the baby pumpkins.

And then there's this lady. Don't get me started. She lives 100000 miles away, and I miss her all the time.


She married my best friend from high school at a really cool wedding with saris and toads and a chapel in the woods and a bunch of totally awesome cakes. And the red velvet one wished Dr. Krog and I a happy congratulations on successful babymaking, as Rex was bunning in my oven at the time.

And here's what they look like when they're sucking face.


OH, GROSS. GET A ROOM, YOU TWO!!

And speaking of public displays of affection, have I mentioned lately that Dr. Krog is a very handsome fellow?


I mean, if you like the front, you should totally check out the back.

Just not when I can see it, because I'll totally punch your lights out for looking at my man.

So what have we learned today?

* We are total goobers.
* t.rex looks great in/near orange and likes to manhandle pumpkins.
* The Biscuit is very effective at finding small pumpkins in empty fields.
* Urfa has luscious gourds.
* Ryan and Urfa suck.
* But what they suck is face.
* Dr. Krog is hott. With an extra "t".

Be prepared for a pop quiz.

*

Also, is there anyone I trust implicitly who enjoys reading chick lit and would like to offer criticism on my book before I start sending out queries? I need a reader. Who will be kind, but firm. I mean, I don't need "This entire book sucks and you should go back to making babies, you flaming moron". I need "Chapter 4 needs work, and you left out a comma here and put in too many spaces over there, but you're still a good person". Quick turn-around would help, and I can send you a PDF.

Interested parties can email me at delilahpaints[at]yahoo[dot]com.

7 comments:

thatgirlblogs said...

happy to read your chick lit

payment in form of a view of the husband's rear, I mean scarecrow's rear.

nevermind.

shuey 6 at mac dot com

Cynthia said...

You can't possibly trust me implicitly YET, but I would love to read your draft. You are hilarious! And I am an avid reader. Of books and blogs and anything within reach when I have a free half a minute.

Virginia Valerie said...

love this post, and happy to see that Dr. Krog has lost the track jacket (did you burn it?). The kids are adorable and you are a hotttttttie - Dr. Krog's got nothin' on you!

I am a dreadfully slow reader, but if you're okay with that, I would love to read your stuff!

gardengirl said...

Would love to read it!!!

Leslie said...

Dear Delilah, mad crazy reader here. I'm just saying. BTW, you need to go visit my blog as there is something there for you. http//:leslieblairgallagher.blogspot.com

Great post in so many ways love the serendipitous bits that happen.

Really toads?

urfaqhesse said...

you just made my year.

you are prettier than Dr. Crog. Just FYI. and you two make the most amazingly adorable babies. Thank you for sharing them, and you, with us this weekend.

xoxoxo

NotRyan said...

Chick lit is for chicks. Also, that Ryan fellow is quite handsome.