Saturday, October 24, 2009


me: So did you go to Chapel at school today?

Biscuit: Yeah, we did.

me: What did you do there?

Biscuit: We talked about God.

me: What did you learn about God?

Biscuit: I don't know, but I can tell you the three rules of the Mogwai.


Biscuit: One day, when I am kinduva big kid, I will go to the Fairy Ball with daddy.

me: That sounds great, buddy.

Biscuit: And I will wear your princess dress.

me: Cool. You're totally welcome to wear my wedding dress.

Biscuit: And I will marry daddy.

me: Nope. He's mine.

Biscuit: Then I will marry t.rex.

me: Even if it's Georgia, you can't marry your brother, dude.

Biscuit: Then I will marry Big Ben?

me: Try again. He's your grandfather.

Biscuit: (dramatic sigh and eye rolling) Then I guess I'll marry Uncle Bill.

me: Sorry, sweetie, he's still part of the family. And he's 65. And married to Aunt Sunny. Choose someone that's not a relative.

Biscuit: FINE. I guess I'll have to marry Joey from my class.

me: Oh, do you like Joey?

Biscuit: No, not really.


Biscuit: That man on the sidewalk is a FAT MAN! He's a big ol', big ol' FAT MAN!

me: We don't generally talk about people being fat. It's not nice.



Biscuit: Can I have some of your birthday cake?

me: Nope. You already had enough treats today.

Biscuit: Can I have some tomorrow?

me: Maybe.

Biscuit: What about now? Is now tomorrow?

me: No.

Biscuit: What about now?

me: Still no.

Biscuit: When I'm a big kid, will it be tomorrow?

me: Well, tomorrow is always the next day. So you never really get to tomorrow, because then tomorrow is the day after that. So after a lot of tomorrows, I guess you *will* be a big kid. It's a bit confusing, I know.

Biscuit: Can I have some of your birthday cake yesterday, then?

me: You did.

Biscuit: Can it be yesterday again?

me: Today will be yesterday tomorrow.

Biscuit: I think I just really like to dance ballet.


Virginia Valerie said...

She's pretty clever with the cake logic!

RosyRevolver said...

ohhh, I totally feel this post. My Monkey speaks much the same way.

Hmmm. Perhaps they should get together . . .

OSTRICH MAN! said...

What a rude little girl.

Alicia Istanbul said...

How cute and hilarious. Loved the one about wanting to marry daddy and then t.rex :)

Alicia Istanbul said...

lol, ostrich man :D

Caroline D. said...

HAHAHAHA!!!! dude she's a funny biscuit.

Katherine Malone said...

This post just made me crack up all over again re-reading it. Loved it!