Wednesday, September 2, 2009

pride and prune prejudice

See that? That's pride. The pride of a big kid who goes to big kid school and walks to her big kid classroom from the big kid carpool line. I'm so proud of her. And I'm proud of myself, too, mainly for a bunch of piddly little crap.

Things I did today that I feel good about:

1. I bought new plum-colored shoes and didn't feel guilty for paying full price.

2. I bought a new plum-colored shirt from the Juniors department.

3. I didn't buy anything else that was plum colored, even though I wanted to, because I have self control.

3.5 I take that back. I bought plums, because the Biscuit politely requested them.

3.75 I also bought pitted prunes. Because the Biscuit politely requested them. Because she's weird.

4. When the director of my child's preschool demanded that I switch my kids' car seats to make carpooling easier for the teachers, I throttled my inner people-pleaser and politely but emphatically said NO, because I can't see t.rex if he's behind me in his gigantic La-Z-Boy of a car seat. I then found a perfectly reasonable work-around that made everyone happy.*

5. I took my daughter to the playground and did exactly what she wanted to do, even when it involved getting into and out of the swings a million times and letting her play in the sandbox with a little girl who threw sand in the Biscuit's hair while the little girl's creepily extroverted dad tried to strike up a boring conversation with me.

6. I then dusted off all the sand, removed the play clothes and shoes, and completely redressed and rebrushed said child so that her great-grandmother could enjoy the holy First Day of School Outfit, which featured a pink dress, headband, and flowered shoes.

Great-grandma gave her a "brown cracker", aka graham cracker. Nom nom nom.

7. I bought straight-up meat baby food for my son on the recommendation of the pediatrician, even thought it totally grosses me out, smells awful, and is skin-colored. I may go in a different direction for zinc and protein, so don't jump all over me on this one. I'm talkin' to you, vegetarian friends.

8. I ate only vegetables, grapes, and a glass of milk for lunch at my parents' house, when I could easily have eaten a delicious grilled cheese sandwich, a vat of chocolate milk, 26 dark chocolates, and a watermelon-flavored popsicle.

9. I did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, and tidied up the living room. That doesn't sound like much, but if you're the mother of a toddler and a baby, you know how hard it is. What I really need are seven OCD dwarves and a tiny little zamboni.

10. I tried on my second favorite pair of "normal" jeans, and they actually fit, and I can't wait to wear them tomorrow, along with all my purple stuff, except for the prunes, because nobody wears prunes.

Things I did today of which I'm not proud:

1. Used a dangling participle in the title of the previous list.
2. Ate an entire teething biscuit, just to see what it was like.
3. Requested that my toddler not wash her hands in the Target restroom because the baby was sleeping in my Beco and I couldn't lift her up without waking him up and seriously, I swear she didn't touch anything, anyway, and I washed my hands, and we sanitized her grubby paws in the car afterwards, and no one has e.coli yet, so shut up.
4. Currently have "Mmmbop" stuck in my head. Thanks, Season 5 of House.

* The best work-around mentioned in a Facebook comment involved digging an underground tunnel and throwing your child out of the sunroof. I added that a fireman's pole needed to be involved. Preschools and their ridiculous measures for child safety!


Caroline D. said...

awesome day. Love those shoes!!

Despite your scolding, i'm jealous you get to use the carpool.I have to still walk isabel in so it's gonna be the same crap with ben as last year.

Anonymous said...

Mmmbop? I'm so sorry.
I love those shoes. It sounds like a great idea.
As for the meat, mix it with the vegetables. It doesn't smell so bad, and they actually eat it.

Rylie's Mama said...

Love the shoes! How did your little sir like the meat baby food? My girl refuses any meat.

Virginia Valerie said...

OMG LOVE LOVE LOVE the pictures of Biscuit, especially in the first day of school outfit. SOOO CUTE!

urfaqhesse said...

please more pitures. They are so beautiful, and i want to nom them. I can't wait to see you all when we get there. And I am very proud of you.

bibliophiliac said...

I do not see the dangling participle to which you refer (a participle is a verbal form that modifies a noun and ends in “–ing”; said participle is considered dangling when the antecedent is ambiguous). I believe that the error to which you refer (“Used a dangling participle in the title of the previous list.”) should read “used a preposition at the end of a sentence,” although technically the title of the previous list is not even a complete sentence, but perhaps could have read, “Things I did today about which I feel good.”

I know you were just trying to see if your readers were paying attention.

Oh, and the picture of Biscuit in the pink dress, headband, and flowered shoes is precious.

carma said...

you've accomplished a lot of plum colored things. Well done!

stinestrain said...

"What I really need are seven OCD dwarves and a tiny little zamboni."


don't we all