I know you guys are going to be utterly amazed, but I was wrong. Again.
We dragged Dr. Krog's emaciated carcass to the doctor yesterday, where they performed the most invasive nasal swab possible. Turns out he doesn't have swine flu, or sheep flu, or chicken flu, or any sort of flu at all. Which is a little amazing, since his main symptoms were fevers and body aches.
He is now being treated for a severe upper respiratory infection, and we're finally allowed to mingle as a family again. Sleeping in my own bed was blissful, aside from the 97 times I had to get up to cover feet and wipe bottoms. Life is almost back to usual. Except for t.rex's fever, which is hopefully just the angry legacy of tooth #8.
So if your kids have played with my kids, or you've been licking the spigots at the Coffee Park, fear not. We do not bring swine flu.
So now we get to go back to dreading it with the rest of America.