I had a dream last night that I was invited to be on a reality show.
It was called LA Ink You Can Dance in the Food Network Challenge.
I was paired with Brian Setzer.
We had to dance a tango, then bake a wedding cake, then do matching tattoos on each other simultaneously.
It was a really tough show.
Sadly, before we could finish our rockabilly tattoos, which were of dice (on him) and cherries (on me) and find out our scores, I was awakened by an angry baby and found that we were both sleeping in a huge puddle of tink, thanks to cheap diapers and improperly positioned baby anatomy.
I will always wonder if we could have won.
The prize was a new maroon Oldsmobile that was pimped out with a swimming pool in the trunk and those Spartacus deathspikes on the wheels.
And that, my friends, is what happens when you go to sleep watching Clash of the Titans.