Monday, July 20, 2009

me and chef kool kat

I had a dream last night that I was invited to be on a reality show.

It was called LA Ink You Can Dance in the Food Network Challenge.

I was paired with Brian Setzer.

We had to dance a tango, then bake a wedding cake, then do matching tattoos on each other simultaneously.

It was a really tough show.

Sadly, before we could finish our rockabilly tattoos, which were of dice (on him) and cherries (on me) and find out our scores, I was awakened by an angry baby and found that we were both sleeping in a huge puddle of tink, thanks to cheap diapers and improperly positioned baby anatomy.

I will always wonder if we could have won.

The prize was a new maroon Oldsmobile that was pimped out with a swimming pool in the trunk and those Spartacus deathspikes on the wheels.

And that, my friends, is what happens when you go to sleep watching Clash of the Titans.


Lindsay said...

Wow. Alex tells me *my* dreams are insane. I'll have to share this one, maybe I'll stop getting the funny looks..

Caroline D. said...

LOL That's a messed up reality show. Do you remember anything about who you were competing against?

delilah, the unruly helpmeet said...

Dave Coulier, Amy Winehouse, the black guy from Ghostbusters, pregnant Amy Poehler, and the Shoney's Big Boy, each paired with another nobody.

I couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried, folks.

charissimo said...

Yeah, that's what happens when you go to sleep watching Clash of the Titans... on CRACK.

3rdEyeMuse said...

I LOVE that movie ... tried to make my daughter love it, too, but sadly have been unsuccessful ... so far.

I think you would have won.

Anonymous said...

Ok. Seriously. Best dream ever. And you must have won.

Megan said...

Hi Delilah,
I’m writing from Surfdog Records. Thanks for posting about Brian on your blog, we really appreciate it! Funny dream by the way. We’re gearing up to release a brand new Brian Setzer album this Fall and I’d love to add you on to our e-mail list so we can keep you in the loop. I did not see an e-mail address on your blog. Please send me an e-mail at if you would like to be added to our list!

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