Wednesday, July 8, 2009

behold my massive cop-out

Sorry, guys. I got nothin'. No cute pictures, no funny stories, and apparently all my tales of the past are disgusting and drive away readers and comments like so much Michael Ja... No. Like so much screaming infomercial gu.... Um. Like so much OJ Simpson?

You guys just don't like that stuff.

So here's some random crap, because it's better than the story about how I spilled hot coffee on myself, broke my cookie, and was bitten by a flea at a coffee shop today.

I'll have brains again soon. Pinky swear.

1. Where were you 3 hours ago?
downstairs, shredding, wishing i was already done shredding.
2. Who are you in love with?
dr. krog. he's got really awesome forearms.
3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?
not to my knowledge-- art materials are holy.
4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
i'm 6 feet from my underthingy drawer, 15 feet from my closet, and 8 feet from a 3 year old girl, so yes.
5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
two weeks ago to use the indoor play area. if you mean "went to the mall to actually shop and enjoy myself", we're talking several years. and cinnabon closed, too.
6. Are you wearing socks right now?
nope. who wears socks in georgia in july?
7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000?
yep. but i wish i had a carp worth that much. that would be a really awesome carp.
8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
i can't even remember. how sad is that?
9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
i wish! i count the days until harry potter opens, when i can admonish noisy teens and eat popcorn.
10. Are you hot?
definitely. getting hotter every day. physically, metaphysically, and seasonally.
11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
water. tepid, ant-riddled water.
12. What are you wearing right now?
glasses, yoga pants, and a tank top. and a small, blue argyle toddler barrette.
13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
car wash. we still have water restrictions. and the kids think it's as good as tv.
14. Last food that you ate?
chickfil-A. mmm. i could eat it again right now. or, in cow language, "i kud eet itt ugin riit nowz".
15. Where were you last week at this time?
probably at home. we're pretty boring around bedtime.
16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
i bought a necklace on etsy as my personal reward for getting below 150 pounds. i'm down to 147. if i ever hit 130, i think dr. krog has to buy me a horse.
17. When is the last time you ran?
ha ha ha ha ha.
18. What's the last sporting event you watched?
the kids' grapple-a-thon that dr. krog refereed a few months ago. nothing like watching kids push eachother around.
19. What is your favorite animal?
horses for reality. armadillos for funsies.
20. Your dream vacation?
clear blue water, snorkeling, diving, horseback riding, gourmet dinner every night. no kids. obviously.
21. Last person's house you were in?
my parents' house for my mom's 60th birthday. happy birthday, nina!
22. Worst injury you've ever had?
the broken nose was the bloodiest and required surgery. also my mom's fault.
23. Have you been in love?
only for 11 years or so.
24. Do you miss anyone right now?
dr. krog. and he took my car, too, so i miss that.
25. Last play you saw?
i stage managed macbeth in 2000. and saw cats last year, but that's more of a spectacle than a play.
26. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
brains + humor + boobs.
27. What are your plans for tonight?
convince the children to sleep, have a glass of wine, and collapse.
28. Who is the last person you sent a MySpace message or comment?
someone in 2006? srsly, who uses myspace?
29. Next trip you are going to take?
i plan a visit to funkytown soon.
30. Ever go to camp?
loads of day camps and art camps. one sleepaway camp that was desperately disappointing. it was nothing like meatballs!
31. Were you an honor roll student in school?
yep. i was the high school valedictorian. lot of good that did me, eh?
32. What do you want to know about the future?
when will air conditioning be free?
33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Nicosia by Wiggle Perfume on lovely, light pink pepper.
34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit?
of course. they need more blood.
35. Where is your best friend?
choking people and teaching children to choke people.
36. How is your best friend?
um... chokey?
37. Do you have a tan?
i have a naturally sort of olive tint, but i haven't been in the sun this year. dr. krog's kids are half albino.
38. What are you listening to right now?
robot puppets singing about du lac on shrek.
39. Do you collect anything?
i used to collect interesting versions of alice in wonderland. and i enjoy strange marbles. and also blog followers.
40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?
if i knew someone who was gossipy, and i told the world on my blog, then wouldn't i be the gossipiest gossiper that ever gossiped?
41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
2001. driving too happily up a country road after a great trail ride.
42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
not often. i hear it makes little lip wrinkles. plus, i like to look tough, and you can't look tough sipping through a straw.
43. What does your last text message say?
BFF 2GOOD2B4GOTTEN GLTS HAGS!!! or maybe that's my 5th grade yearbook.
44. Do you like hot sauce?
on thai and indian food. not as a condiment. great-- now i'm craving chicken wings.
45. Last time you took a shower?
9:30 this morning. but i'm using non-AL deodorant lately, so i have a bit of a stanky fug about me.
46. Do you need to do laundry?
always. always. but i don't wanna.
47. What is your heritage?
mutt. boring white folks, native americans, etc.
48. Are you someone's best friend?
dr. krog. and t.rex thinks of me as a sort of giant cheeseburger/electric blanket/buddy.
49. Are you rich?
rich in friendship. and family. and tomfoolery.
50. What were you doing at 12AM last night?
trying to convince dr. krog to let me watch more serenity instead of turning on dr. katz and giving me ray romano dreams.


Virginia Valerie said...

I like your massive copout.

Caroline D. said...

Valedictorian, eh? That is cooler than any of the pot smoking, keg party attending, academic decathlon winning I was doing.

Well, winning may be an overstatement. Participating?

Beth said...

tomfoolery. awesome. that may have to be my word of the week.

faemom said...

That was fun.
P.S. I got a real word on the are-you-human test! I'm so stoked! That's so sad.

3rdEyeMuse said...

that was almost as funny as why you aren't allowed in Belgium. :)

Wendy said...

Delurking to say: Oh, phooey. I like that stuff, I like your stories, I like your writing in general, and I would say I like you if that didn't sound weird and internet stalkerish! The copout is funny too, but I hope you haven't completely given up on sharing the more serious stuff... (this is Wwindy from the BPAL forum, btw. Hi!)

Kristi said...

Just because as far as you knw I sat in stony silence (I didn't) instead of posting a comment, it doesn't mean I didn't like you vomit & ketchup stories. It doesn't really matter what you write about; I'll like it (I've been told I'm easy).