Tuesday, June 2, 2009

knighty knight

Forsooth, it hath beeneth too longeth sinceth My Lord Dr. Kroggith and I-ith wentith to-ith the Renaissance-ith Festival-ith.

Am I doing that right? I wasn't sure. The only character to really engage us in conversation was the Sultan, and he mostly just said "Salaam" a lot and compared me to one of Hannibal's elephants.

In any case, our first All-Family-Medieval-Fun-Day went quite well. We saw many things. Exotic, interesting, unusual things.

Like this.

I don't know why there was a brush in the petting zoo, but I definitely used antibacterial hand gel after petting it. I could get a disease!

But I'm getting ahead of myself. It was Pirate Weekend, so the first thing we had to do was dress up.

t.rex messed it all up, as usual. Little jerk.

Okay, so we didn't dress up. t.rex wore his "Little Pirate" romper that says "Poop Deck" on the back, because I want my children to hate me when the grow up.

Then we took lots of photographs that don't even properly show RenFest stuff, because I feel weird taking pictures of the actors, and the Biscuit was terrified of them, anyway. And Dr. Krog was terrified of the Kissing Wenches. Tee hee!

See? Dragons make everything more interesting.

Then we saw some fine art.

In retrospect, I really, really wish I had gone with "SUCK IT, DA VINCI!" up there. That would have been much funnier. Still, a vast improvement.

Dr. Krog had his annual Turkey Legg and Coke, then he and the Biscuit enjoyed the Maze while t.rex and I fought over whether or not he was allowed to eat his sister's new purple dagger.

We also went to Ye Old Petting Zooe, where the Biscuit spoke politely to some strange goatsheepcows. Seriously, they had goat horns, sheep coats, and cow tails. I suspect alchemy/necromancy/a chef with a minor in genetics.

We also saw this nice little cow, which the Biscuit thought was

Until it started doing this, and then it was

and the Biscuit watched it, entranced and amused, as if it was doing this

Ah.... children.

Then we tried to watch the joust, but it was extremely hot and rather boring. The Biscuit was totally unintrigued and asked to leave about 2 minutes in, before anybody jousted. Stupid boring queen with her speech. THE PEASANTS DON'T CARE, LADY!!

And that, in a nutshell, is our trip to the RenFest. Since we had two small children on a hot day, we didn't see any shows, ride any rides, or get involved with any scuffles with the Fool. But we had a lovely time and can't wait to go back dressed to the nines to embarrass our children at a later date by talking in really horrible Queen's English.

Like, forsooth, dude.


carma said...

The first year we went to the Renaissance Festival we saw the jousting and the creepy knight who loses ran into the crowd and sat on my lap...It was a bit creepy esp since he first removed my son from my lap ...Anyhoo, we are not real Renaisssance-y but my son will be auditioning this year to juggle and do diabolo so I will have to set him up with one of those "interesting" costumes...

Caroline D. said...

bwahhahhhaaaa!!!!! I love this post. I want to take this post with me everywhere I go and read it and look at the pictures whenever I feel down.

you know, there was something I took as a adult that made me see a cow pooping a rainbow. let me see if I can find it somewhere...

charissimo said...

Our Ren-faire got canceled this year. I feel so cheated. Thanks for letting me go vicariously. I especially enjoyed the rainbow spilling out of the cow booty.

merveilleuse said...

awesome eyeliner! awesome rainbow booty! awesome post all around.

bibliophiliac said...

Your photoshopping skillz are always funny, but these pictures were particularly hilarious. I especially liked Dr. Crog with eyeliner a la Johnny Depp, and The Biscuit made the most adorable Mona Lisa (funny because her little face was so unexpected in the painting). Why are all children (and many grown men) obsessed with poop?