Friday, May 29, 2009

hit FACE with BOOK.

Things I learned on Facebook today:

* Some friends were doing something fun without me.
* The guy who raped me in high school said something pithy in response to a status update by a girl to whom I haven't spoken in over 13 years.
* An acquaintance is an Aquarius and actually took a quiz to tell them so.
* My friends have received virtual Bling, Relaxed Smiles, and Girly Drinks today. No mention of VD, oddly.
* Most of the people I knew in high school still can't spell worth a damn and have horrible grammar.
* Someone threw up, someone feels like Wonder Woman, and someone says "BLAH" when encountering ants.
* Someone hates their mother.
* Several people want me to vote on whether or not the current president is doing a good job, LIKE IT MATTERS until we vote again in 2012.
* A guy I dated in high school recommended a movie that I would like, except that it's completely unavailable to purchase or download and probably doesn't really exist.
* Someone was passive-aggressively threatened with an Edward icon. He can always make you. Ooooh, that works both ways! Bada-bing!
* Everyone is eating much more exciting things than I am.
* Blah blah blah American Idol blah blah Taliban blah blah dog in a duffel bag blah blah blah thankful for crap.
* People in Atlanta can apparently neither drive nor park, and they also own every manhole in Roswell, which may or may not be a conspiracy to steal our water and send us feces.
* Everyone loves cake and Cake, including me.
* There are about 4 people that I have never met among my Friends, and I have no idea why, but they are very anxious to tell me very personal things. Like about constipation.
* Someone thinks they're a hobbit. Or that they *should* be a hobbit.

....and don't even get me started on what I learned via Twitter, aside from the fact that I don't really like Twitter, but I do enjoy having that ridiculous badge to Follow Me on Twitter over there on the right, so I give a token update every now and again.


ChicagoSane said...

Hah. I hate my Facebook account. It's a waste of time.

I actually use mine only to keep track of groceries. I update my status with what I need, and use Facebook Mobile to look it up.

My friends and family leave comments on my lists.

katiri said...

Delilah, you are a thoughtful, moody, crazy-intelligent bitch on wheels these past couple of days! [now entering witness protection program before you can hunt me down and shoot me. with a camera . .. and label the unflattering photo of me with your scathing witty remarks]

delilah, the unruly helpmeet said...

See, katiri, that's why I love you. I feel like i'm totally phoning it in this week. No photos, no hilarious stories. But you keep coming back anyway, even though I suck at making LOLZ and don't have a bitchin' mustache.

Maggi said...

I haven't updated my FB status in months and I always forget to update my Twitter...Boo to online chores! :P

Lise said...

By the way, there's a way to never have to see comments by people you hate, if you're inclined to spare yourself the agony. Go to Settings -> Privacy Settings and type their name in the box under Block List, and viola, they no longer exist! If only one could do that in real life.

charissimo said...

I made it into Delilah's blog! Yay me!

charissimo said...

At first I was really excited about making it in to this post, but then I realized that I'm just in here because I'm such a huge Facebook whore.