Sunday, April 19, 2009

goatgetting


So you guys know that one of my very favorite hobbies is goatgetting.

Goatgetting, in layman's terms, focuses on getting Dr. Krog's goat. Making him scream like a little girl and jump. Oh, I just live to see him cower. As you remember, from this post about one of the greatest pranks I ever pulled.

What a magnificent goat I got that day!

Seriously, that goat was about 17 feet tall and breathed fire.

Anyway, I can only pull off that sort of coup every few years. So I have to sneak in smallish goats, like those little scruffy fainting goats you see on the side of the road, to keep me going in between. Which is why i'm so thankful for this guy:


I know, I know. He looks innocent. But he is actually terrifying.

It's okay when he's looking away like that, thinking about eating kittens or something. And you're all quiet and respectful and trying to avoid catching his attention, but then...


Oh, sweet Jesus, he's seen us. He's looking right at us! Shhhhhhh.

No sudden moves, no loud noises. Maybe he'll go away.

Maybe he'll forget about us.



AAAAH! NO! HE'S COMING RIGHT AT US! RUN!!!!!

RUUUUUUUUUUNNNNN!!! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY!


No, no! You must ignore the perfectly focused Twilight and RUN!

Before he sucks your soul from your body and spits you out, and you're nothing but a bag of bones and gristle. Like Tori Spelling.

See how scary that is? Maybe not as scary, say, as a creepy little gnome next to the yogurt.


But when Dr. Krog is happily drifting off to sleep at night, just seeing that... thing... gets him all riled up. It rises up and turns in his direction, and he can no longer relax. He doesn't know what that thing is going to do. It might go for that tender little spot in the armpit over the ribs, or it might peck his face off, or it might just sit there.

And stare.

And make plans.

And, for some ungodly reason, the simple act of making my hand do that in his direction drives Dr. Krog simply batty in the funniest way.

I like to keep some power in the relationship, you know.

59 comments:

Tammy Howard said...

Maintaining the balance of power is key, no? Is that a tickle monster or a pinch bug? Either way, I'M NOT SCARED!!!

delilah said...

Dr. Krog maintains it's his reptilian nature that's so disturbing. Strange movement, sudden attacks, inborn creepiness.

The handmonster's, not Dr. Krog's.

Mary said...

Happy SITS Day!

cat said...

Ah, that's cute. Greetings from South Africa.

MrsM said...

LOL-Tori Spelling.

My husband likes to get my goat too because I am the one with all the weird things that skeeve me out (belly button lint, for instance).

Thanks for sharing-I hope you had a great day as FB!

Complicated Mama said...

Gotta keep that upper hand... in your case, literally.

Fruitful Vine2 said...

Sounds fun - the handmonster.

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

How cruel!

Congrats on your SITS day!

Elizabeth said...

Yes, maintaining the balance of power is super important. Through any means necesssary! :)

Jess @ Frugal with a Flourish said...

Oh that is hysterical... I love the gnome story too!

singedwingangel said...

lmbo me thinks your hubby has spent time watching too much LIAR LIAR with Jim Carrey.. Except the kid wasn't even scared of it.. Shame on you Dr. Krog.. It's just the CLAW after all..

sexgrinch said...

LOL I have no words for this post. Only laughter. Thanks for the great read!

Dropping by from SITS! Congratulations on your big day!

delilah, the unruly helpmeet said...

You know, we've never actually *seen* Liar, Liar. Neither of us. Except that little excerpt in Family Guy. But now it'll scare him more.

Astrid said...

Thanks for another great post! :)

Happy SITS Day!

Sonja, Queen of Crafts said...

*muhahaha* must try that with my own hubby. Sounds like good fun - and may get me what I want...

Happy SITSday!

The Mommyologist said...

Enjoy your SITS day! I had fun reading your posts!

Angelia Sims said...

That knome is up to something! He can't be THAT innocent. LOL. Very funny post!

I use the tickle claw on my boyfriends little girls. It died once, when they viciously attacked it but it came back. It NEVER dies! :-)

La Belle Mere UK said...

Happy SITS day....

Reminds me of the Hooded Claw...

Da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......

LBM xxxx

{leah} said...

That's funny. It's nice to have a little upper hand in everything...

happy SITS day!

Kimmy C said...

LMAO... Tori Spelling. Happy Sits day.

BlogBaby said...

Oh yes the handmonster, we have one at my house too. Sometimes it chases me around the house until I fall down and cry. Handmonster is gonna get it some day, because eventually Dr. Krog is gonna figure out he has two handmonsters of his own and that they are WAY bigger and stronger than your handmonster.

And then the hunter will become the hunted.

BlogBaby

Hoity Toity Baby said...

I love this! I wish my husband had a funny bone! I like to pinch his earlobes and he just gets mad. Like a grumpy old man! Bah-Humbug!

Jen said...

I love your description of goatgetting!! I dont have anything that makes my husband do that, will have to ponder! thanks for the idea!

Kim @ Cheap Chic Home said...

You are too silly! Loved visiting today! Happy SITS day!

One Cluttered Brain said...

Pretty silly! Visiting from SITS! You are a writer? Did you join Naniwrimo this year? I am a writer and YES I did!!! YEAH! i am following you now--You are way funny and you are a writer, we'll be fun blogging buddies for sure.

Rook No. 17 said...

So funny! It takes some real talent to make a sequence of photos of a hand so engaging, hilarious, and entertaining ~ and you, my SITSta have got that talent!

Jenn @ rookno17.blogspot.com

Joy said...

A girl's gotta do what she's gotta do.

Congrats on your SITS day!

Holly Noelle @ Domestic Dork said...

I heart fainting goats SO SO MUCH.

Michelle said...

LOL...bizareness.

Heather said...

Ah, to have so much power. But, alas, it is I who fear such "monsters".

Once again, sigh..

Happy SITS day!

Christina said...

I've noticed that cats and small dogs are also afraid of it... in case you feel like attacking a whiny cat or a dog that refuses to stop gnawing on your knee for attention... ;-)

Happy SITS day!

Young Wife said...

That's hilarious! Stopping by from SITS.

foxy said...

oh my gosh, ALL THREE of your posts were hilarious!! off to be a follower...

Cheryl said...

OMG!!!!!!! That is some funny stuff. Man you keep me in stitches girl.

Melanie said...

My goodness, I would be scared of that too!

2busy said...

Happy SITS Day!

Miss Know It All said...

Nothing like a girl with the upper "HAND". Ahhhhhahahahha!

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

My husband likes to do that with the cat and they have play fights that way. However, unlike the hand, the cat has CLAWS, so my husband usually loses these encounters. You have a fun blog here.

Zeemaid said...

*ROFLMAO* love it, love it, love it. I'm gonna have to try that on my hubby.

Sara's Whimsy said...

Love it love it love it!

Ma What's 4 dinner said...

hysterical!

alex @ www.mawhats4dinner.com

AmericanTribal said...

Hahahaha, *love* the Tori Spelling reference.

Congratulations again on your SITS day!

Minnie Mama said...

You're hilarious! LOL :)

tammy said...

ROFL...I do the same thing to my dh. It's so funny to see him sitting there all tense and twitchy!!

Mimi said...

Now that's funny! Poor Dr. Krog!

Pricilla said...

While a very funny post I must admit to feel letdown that there was not an actual GOAT....

You see, I am rather partial to actual GOATS, being one.

Katie said...

I'm laughing outload. Again. You are one funny lady.

Amber Page Writes said...

in my humble opinion, you deserve to be a published author. soon. thanks for the laughs!

Charlene said...

Happy SITS Day! Love the pics - too funny!

Mighty M said...

Haha! You sure do have some mad skills!

Two Normal Moms said...

Funny.
Happy SITS Day!
***Ally

Miss Dot said...

Aaaaaaaaaand 3 for 3. Girl, you are simply hilarious. Great choices for your posts. Now on to find out whether or not the rest of your blog makes me laugh as hard as your featured posts. Onward!!

samsstuff said...

What a great term: goatgetting. I must now think of many ways to use it in every day conversation...

So funny!

Happy SITS day!

(I love the banner, By the way)

Hope you have a great feature day.

Simply Valorie said...

Happy SITS day!

This is hilarious! I do this kind of stuff to my room mate ALL THE TIME and she HATES it. But it's so funny!

The (Un)Experienced Mom said...

Way to keep the hubby on his toes and keep the power!

www.theunexperiencedmom.com

Sarah Ruth said...

My fiance has the same fear! LOL!

Helen McGinn said...

Wait til he is near sleeping and slowly lower your face over his, close enough that he would be able to just see your extra wide eyeball when he slowly flickers his eyes open....wait....aaaand react!

It works on kids too....oops, did I just say that out loud?

Michelle said...

Too funny! My hubby acts the same way when I try to tickle him.

Meg said...

The gnome is actually pretty terrifying. If I ever find that little guy in my fridge I'll be having nightmares.