Thursday, March 19, 2009

rock me, hashimoto

Did you know that I am diseased?

It's true.

I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis at the tender age of 26. I could quote a bunch of pabulum from Wikipedia or WebMD, but suffice it to say that my body is attacking and eating my thyroid gland, which is located in the neck area and plays Wizard of Oz to most of the body's glands.

Although there is no cure to this annoying autoimmune disease, the good news is that life goes on as normal as long as I take thyroid replacement hormone every single day under very tender conditions involving delicate timing, food, calcium, sleep, water, and hamster juggling.

So as long as the world stays about like it is, i'm fine. However, when the zombiepocalypse comes, i'm in deep trouble. Although the drug Synthroid is an exact chemical replacement of the sweet, sweet thyroid hormone I need, the only way to get it in nature is by eating pig glands. And can you think of anything more annoying and disgusting than slaughtering a huge, hairy pig and eating a big, ol', flappy gland?

Trying to explain the concept to Dr. Crog several years ago, I did extensive research and created this illustration:

To be honest, I don't remember why there are skeletons holding cupcakes. I just remember something about me getting fat and powerful with a goiter while everyone else starves to death. And I apparently have pink elephant toes, too. And there are coconuts in Georgia for my coconut bra.

I dunno.

But the goiter is clearly there from a thyroid gland run amok.

I like to think of myself as a very sophisticated self-cannibal.


Anonymous said...

Have you read about the study how selenium can reduce level of TPO antibodies?

v.r said...

I can't see any goiter on the picture, just a hint of double chin:)

Virginia Valerie said...

After that seductive picture, vampires are going to start knocking on your door. At night, of course.

delilah said...

You know, Val, that's what Dr. Crog said. But I don't see how any photo that shoes my nose hair could be attractive. I was aiming for silly.

And I haven't read much on the Hashimoto's. My endo just acts like it's basic hypothyroidism, and my dosage doesn't increase unless i'm pregnant. I suppose I should keep up better, though. I saw selenium poisoning on House once, and I know it's in Brazil nuts, but that's about it. Off to Google!

Anonymous said...

hint of a doublechin!? Care to clarify?

delilah said...

Does "anonymous" = my beloved Dr. Crog there? Defending my chin's honor?

I thought the double chin dig was humorously referring to the zombiepocalypse picture, but if it was in fact a comment on my photo, i'm also going to protest. And inwardly sniffle in a hurt and vain manner.

Virginia Valerie said...

v.r.'s mom had a double chin last night! Ooooh, Burn!

Ba dum bum!

I'm here all week folks. Show's at 8, weekend matinee at 2.

Anonymous said...

Some people are jerks and just want to sting D:
Maybe they want to see something from biology textbook such a picture of 1 lb goiter on old person's neck that formed due to the lack of iodine in the diet?
The modern classification uses word goiter to describe thyroid even slightly enlarged [based on ultrasound finding], or having nodules within.
Some well known doctors are questioning need for treatment until TSH is below 10; thy also believe that T4 only treatment is sufficient.
The selenium trial has had controversial results; the positive outcome was 30%; the dose varied in each trial, from 63 micrograms to 200 micrograms; the 100 micrograms per day was most commonly used.