Tuesday, March 31, 2009


Please help me. I need milk. So badly.

No cheese. No yogurt. No chocolate milk. No butter. No dark chocolate.

Seriously, have you tried to go a day without butter? In Georgia, I can probably be arrested for it.

It's been one day, and I feel like a wraith.

I'm telling you, almond milk is not the panacea i'd hoped. It's like unicorn blood, thank you very much, Dr. Crog. Like unicorn blood for Crocodile Dundee. You can live off it, but it tastes like sh*t. And you look like Voldemort. Or at least feel like him.

See, we were at the pediatrician's office yesterday for t.rex's 4 month visit. He is a confirmed moose at 16 pounds 9 ounces. w00t!

Honestly, have you ever seen such a fetching cervid?

And our pediatrician asked me if he spit up much.

"A bit," I said.

And then he cheesed a quart of chunky sour milk on my sweater and laughed.

And she wiped the curds off her arm and said, "Have you considered it might be reflux?"

And I said, "But look at him. He's so happy. Reflux hurts. Surely it's not reflux, despite the fact that everyone in my family has a hietal hernia."

And although she agreed that he did seem very pleased with himself for making me smell like month-old yogurt, she pointed out that reflux was bad for babies, even if they aren't in pain. So she recommended I go dairy-free for a week and see if the spitting up improves, in case he's reacting to the dairy in my own personal dairy.

At the time, it sounded like a fun project. I'd go to Whole Foods and try some new and interesting milk substitutes. Like Silk hazelnut creamer, which is actually pretty decent.

But now, one day in, and I am trying to convince myself that one little dark chocolate Hershey's Kiss wouldn't hurt my little upchucker. Just one. One little chocolate. For the antioxidants.

Must. Resist. Chocolate.

Must. Find. Chocolate. Substitute.

Must. Eat. Jelly. Belly. Jelly. Beans?

On the upside, I am probably 300 calories under the norm today with a severe deficit in fat, but personal non-dairy torture is not my favorite way to diet.

As I tried to cope with my own personal dietary hell, Dr. Crog and the Biscuit enjoyed a little bit of music and completely ignored my plight.

Smug, milk-drinking jerks.


M family said...

I say bull c*** about the spitting. My oldest was the same as yours ( I think it continued until he was about 12 months) and I have not found any research that would say it is bad, if he is gaining and is happy. Here is Sears take on it: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t110225.asp

Take it easy and enjoy some chocolate!

michelle said...

Whole Foods and/or Trader Joes should have some dairy free dark chocolate. They should even have a larger selection right now, since Passover is only a week away.

Virginia Valerie said...

Ghiradelli semi-sweet chocolate chips have no milk. At least I think they don't because I remember reading the ingredient list to a vegan friend and she said they're okay. There's hope! And because they are so tiny, they also have no calories - even when you eat the whole bag! They are magic that way. :-)

Also, I'm with M Family on calling bull c***. Not that I am a mom and know ANYTHING about babies, nursing, spitting up, reflux, etc... but it seems like Dr. Pediatrician is shooting in the dark here. "Here lady, try this... just cut off your right arm and see if that helps. It's worth trying once..." Are you sure this doc is from Georgia? I'd seriously question her Southern cred if the first thing she turned to is NO MILK.

Also, the little password that blogger is making me type to post this is "hoarf". Thought you might enjoy that.

jarvenpa said...

Your moose is very cute.
My eldest used to spit up a bunch and I forever smelled like sour milk, so very romantic. But we didn't fool with diets.

That said, rice milk? It's kinda okay if you like watery sweet stuff. Don't think it is milk, that's all.
So milk is thicker.

There's vegan chocolate around. Costs a bunch, worth every penny.

Frogs Mom said...

Delilah, honey. Stop eating that Hershey's junk and get thee some decent chocolate. You can find loads at WF that are dairy free. Sure they're not cheap, but they taste divine. And they're dairy free. This one is my favorite: http://www.chocolove.com/chilies.htm

Beyond Blessed in GA said...

Yes, the little moose is adorable!

I'm not saying the spitting up is "bad" for him (well, besides the mess and smell), but for us cutting out dairy helped and then later cutting the wheat helped even more, but DD had skin irritations also that promped me on the wheat. ANd I was tired, tired, tired of the projectile...

If he's happy, and doesnt show other signs of being bothered, and you're happy, then I wouldnt worry about it! But definatly do what you must to get some good chocolate!! Check this out: http://www.snakeandbutterfly.com/

tatgurl said...

yeah rice milk is kind of yucky! I like EdenSoy Extra original (vanilla is too sweet). There are actually some pretty good soy cheeses out there too. Soy moon was my fav.

charissimo said...

Going dairy free is SO NOT A FUN PROJECT.

delilah said...

Yeah, i'm not a fan. Everything I like, from Portabello Gardenburgers to milk, contains milk. I am grasping at straws for filling foods. I can only eat so much cereal with almond milk.

But I trust my ped, who is also a lactation consultant. And as much as I hate to admit it, he's only spat 1 time in the last 2 days, and that was because he got really, really mad and cried while I put Biscuit to bed.

I promised Dr. Crog i'd give it a week, because he really hates it when I quit stuff because i'm lazy or bored or CRAVING CHOCOLATE LIKE FREAKIN' HOLY CRAZY INSANITY NOM NOM NOM NOM.

Virginia Valerie said...

Dude - I've got a solution. While at the store yesterday I checked ghiradelli semi sweet chips, and they don't have milk. Okay, they say they are processed on equipment where cows regularly sit, yada yada...

Mix peanut butter and brown sugar. Spread between two ritz crackers (works with the lo-cal version too). Melt chocolate chips, dip ritz sandwiches in choco, put on cookie sheet on wax paper, refrigerate/freeze until cold. Then eat. And be happy. If you eat 10 of them, it's filling. :-)