Don't panic! You're in the right place! See? That's me down there, looking terrified.
Same as usual.
I noticed something yesterday.
My blog's name was long and boring.
delilahpaints (and writes, ad nauseum) just sounds long and boring. And as i'd love to keep doing exactly what i'm doing but better, I decided that a bit of rebranding was in order.
First of all, I needed a new blog name. It had to be sassy, funny, different, descriptive, and available at GoDaddy.com for $9.99. So Dr. Crog and I put on our thinking caps, by which I mean we ate some Reese's eggs, and made lists.
See? He stole my favorite sky blue Sharpie, so I had to use a yucky orange highlighter. Yuck.
My first thought was "tenacious dee", as it's exactly perfect as a self-descriptor, but then I though Jack Black might kick my ass one day. Next, I made a long list of words that could possibly contain "dee". Dr. Crog decided that they all sucked. I was hurt and outraged. But in retrospect, he was right.
deesign. deecoy. deelicious. deenote. deefine. candee. abcdee. deecipher. etc.
I can get stuck in the "out of the box" box, if you know what I mean.
Meanwhile, Dr. Crog did the whole "corporate brainstorm" thing. He started a list of descriptors and titles that fit me, and then tried to fit them together using an online thesaurus. My favorite, of course, was "bawdy hippopotamus". He also liked "sagacious dee", to riff on "tenacious dee", but sagacious is a) too hard to spell for a website, and b) too much like Salacius Crumb, the gross little monkeyfrogchicken from Jabba's palace in Return of the Jedi. And he recommended "painted lady", until I reminded him that it was a term for a prostitute.
And then he hit on a name that just cracks me up: unruly helpmeet. It pretty much describes my home life. I'm Erma Bombeck with a nosering. June Cleaver with watercolors in the china cups. Martha Stewart, but in a tank top and pajama pants and using microwaveable vegetables and without the insider trading or chow dogs or stupid pastel shirts.
So not very Martha Stewart at all, actually. Maybe a brunette Lucille Ball? Cher with a whisk? The Rachel Ray of painting naked pregnant women? No? Why are you laughing?
What can I say? I have aspirations.
So, please, let me know what you think. Is it a good trade? Is the banner interesting enough? How can I put more "pop" on the blog? Which can now be found at www.unrulyhelpmeet.com, by the way.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to figure out what the sticky stuff on the baby's forehead is, because it's apparently resistant to spit cleaning.