Long time readers (hi, Mom!) might remember two other insistances in which I proclaimed the impending zombiepocalypse-- here and here. Well, now i'm sure. And my child is the head zombie!
Yesterday, green things started coming out of her eyes. Seriously. Green stuff. And her nose, too. And she became increasingly deaf, annoying, and disobedient.
I know what you're saying here-- What, a 2 year old is deaf, annoying, and disobedient?
Well, mine is, because she's a zombie. And I have identified the green things coming out of her eyes.
They're zombie seeds. See?
It explains EVERYTHING.*
So i'm going to go put on a snug-fitting helmet and stockpile canned beans, because the zombies are *definitely* coming this time.
* All symptoms were later explained by dueling ear infections. Yay for preschool! Antibiotics have been applied. You can take off that helmet.