Sunday, March 15, 2009

I know that all the cool, big-girl-pants bloggers have loads of sponsors influencing their every move and providing fabulous kitchen mixers and luggage sets for their giveaways. My only sponsor is Dr. Crog, and he's too busy killing zombies right now to offer you one of his secret stash of Reese's Easter eggs for making a clever comment.

Although he would instantly and selflessly offer you an egg if he thought it would get me more readers, because he's that kind of guy, and because he knows that Reese's eggs are pretty cheap right now.

I don't have sponsors, and i'm pretty critical, so you know I mean it when I endorse something. And I hereby endorse the following:

* Ciba Vision Air Optix contact lenses. They kick the crap out of my old Acuvue 2's. They're bigger, sturdier, let in more oxygen, and last a whole month. Which, for a frugal freak like me, probably means 3 months and 42 new oxygen-starved blood vessels. They are slightly-blue-tinted little cups of goodness.

* Schick Intuition Razor. I pretty much suck at shaving, which is sad, because i'm really hairy. Which is no surprise, if you've seen my eyebrows, which i've been plucking since 5th grade when Stevie Rose called me Gorilla Girl. Blind hairy person in the shower + slippery shaving gel + sharp razor = disaster, right? But the Intuition changes all that by including the shaving gel *in* the razor thingy. Oh, I adore this razor. And I even like the little suction cup thingy that holds it up in the shower.

* Jolly Green Giant frozen vegetables. Whether it's the Health Blends, collectively dubbed "Yummy Veggies" by my friend Christine, or the Steamers selection, these vegetables have changed my life. I was raised a "meat and potatoes" sort of girl, but I don't really like how long it takes to make potatoes. I was taught to boil any canned vegetable until it gave up, then add salt and pepper until it was thoroughly cowed. We ate a lot of gray veggies. But these amazing microwaveable vegetables have all the health and nutrients of fresh veggies, plus low-calorie, light, tasty sauces that make them edible. And they all cook in 2 to 6 minutes, which is a major plus.

* Flip Video Camera. Oh, what a marvelous little piece of equipment. Small, cheap, easy to use, easy to upload. Our last video camera required 97 steps, an edict from the pope, and plutonium to function, but this little guy is an all-in-one-wonder. The USB port is even part of the camera, so we can't lose it! We especially enjoy using the included software to make movie mixes featuring funny music and animated fish, because we are lame. Not only does the Flip upload your movies and transfer them to YouTube, but it also goes into the kitchen and microwaves your Jolly Grean Giant frozen vegetable selections for you. Almost.

* I have never been much of a cook, and i'm a terrible baker (quit nodding your head smugly), but I totally love this website. You can search by name, ingredient, type of dish, or popularity. You can search by excluding ingredients. You can build your own recipe box, sort it, make grocery lists, review recipes, and submit glossy, sexy photos of food. And, like most people, you can submit a 1-page review for a chicken casserole recipe that says something along the lines of, "Instead of chicken, I used peanut butter. Instead of flour, I used frog eggs. And instead of cream of mushroom soup, I used windchimes. Cook for 56 extra minutes and serve with whipped cream."

In the immortal words of Levar Burton, you don't have to take my word for it.

But you might as well, because everything listed above ROCKS.


katiri said...

Thanks for the fun list, happy anniversary!

jarvenpa said...

I wasn't going to leave a comment (not that you don't deserve it, and btw the Beautiful Painting including the sensitive hippo is positioned near the bowl with my betta in it. Well, it was to have been my son's fish...but you'll find out, all critters belong to mom.
Betta loves the painting.

But the reason I post..the word verification thingie says: toromp

That's just too apt.

Happy anniversary, you have a gift for writing (and for living, it would seem) as well as art.

Anonymous said...

Sorry you inherited the veggie-killer gene, the bad-eye gene, the hairy-body gene, the soft-tooth gene, et al. At least you got my brains-gene & art-gene.

Anonymous said...

Sorry you inherited the veggie-killer gene, the bad-eye gene, the hairy-body gene, the soft-tooth gene, et al. At least you got my brains-gene & art-gene.

Anonymous said...

Is it very obvious that yer mom is learning how to post comments the hard way?!? Duh-huh...