Sunday, February 1, 2009

this thing about socks

For someone who is not particularly fussy, I have this thing about socks.

1. I can't stand to wear shoes indoors.

2. I don't like to wear matching socks.

3. I prefer argyle socks, but any linear design or skulls is also acceptable. I don't do flowers, frogs, stars, or any other sort of "cutesy" sock.

4. The more colorful or interesting sock must go on the left.

5. I have to put on the left sock first. Then right sock, left shoe, right shoe.

6. If, for some unfathomable reason, a right shoe or sock should touch my foot or be put on before the left one, the day is utterly and unalterably ruined, and I should not leave the house, as something horrible and catastrophic would be sure to happen.

7. I wear through socks really, really quickly.

8. I only buy socks on sale and often buy several pairs at a time.

9. I still have this wonderful collection of argyle socks from The Gap that I found for 50 cents a pair and wore during high school. They are bizarre, Tetris colors and full of holes and completely unwearable, but I just can't let go of them. I am not generally a packrat and rarely save anything.

10. I have no idea when or how these sock rules developed, as I didn't have them as a child. I do know that in high school, I lost one of the Tetris socks and decided I would just wear non-matches from then on, but the left-right business is just ridiculous.

11. We socks make me nearly homicidal. Stealth puddles are the devil.

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