Wednesday, January 28, 2009

wow, a world map!!!!!!!

I don't know how they got my address, but those quixotic globetrotters at National Geographic must have heard about my unquenchable thirst for adventure... and savings!

I received an unsolicited invitation... well, a demand really... to subscribe to National Geographic. It was an "Exclusive Order Offer", so don't expect to receive one, if you're just *anybody*, and it came from the Exclusive Rate Division. Because I am special.

Although the regular newsstand rate is $49.90 a year, I have an 83% discount and will only pay $8.00. And if I act now, I will receive a FREE GIFT: a world map, which has been reserved JUST FOR ME! There are only two choices listed: Check or money order enclosed OR Bill me later. There is not an option to not subscribe, so I have no choice. It's a good thing i'm feeling adventurous!

But that's not all!

Here are the subscription terms:
Item #0001 Full year's subscription to NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC ADVENTURE magazine - $8.00
Item #0002 10 issues of the award winning magazine - INCLUDED
Item #0003 Your practical guide to the great outdoors: Dream It. Plan It. Do It. - INCLUDED
Item #0004 National Geographic quality in every photo, map, and article. - INCLUDED
Item #0005 Regular features: Where Next, Wild Roads, Next Weekend - INCLUDED
Item #0006 Special Issues: Greatest Adventure, America's Nat'l Parks, Best Road Trips - INCLUDED
Item #0007 FREE world map - FREE

So, let me get this straight. If... I mean, when I pay for my subscription, *not only* do I get the magazine, I get the regular features and special articles already *in* the magazine, but I also get quality? AND A WORLD MAP??

People, this is the deal of a lifetime! And the worst subscription solicitation since SELF informed me that if I renewed immediately, they would be kind enough not to call a collection agency.

I actually used to subscribe to National Geographic, and one of their articles inspired part of my 2006 exhibition, Hunger. But I chose not to renew because I was so desperately, desperately sick of receiving 5 pieces of mail and 3 phone calls a week about renewing or subscribing to their 7 other magazines. If you want to save the world so much, quit sending me crap! The money they wasted trying to get me to renew after 3 months could have been used for a much better purpose.

I simply hate being solicited. If you know what I mean.

But I can't resist a world map, so we'll see. That sort of information is not readily available online.

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