Sunday, January 25, 2009

random, unhelpful things I believe

1. That there should never be a party that doesn't include cake. With icing.
2. That I don't want to go anywhere a horse can't go. So no highways, deserts, or icebergs.
3. That there is a perfect piece of artwork for every spot in my house, and I will one day find them all.
4. That Chef Gordon Ramsay is the 2nd most kickass tall, blond Viking around. After Dr. Crog.
5. That slings, swings, and nursing can solve almost all baby problems. Except colic.
6. That The Office is the funniest show you are watching and The Venture Bros. is the funniest show you're not watching.
7. That The Cure ended with Wild Mood Swings and has since been replaced by robots that suck.
8. That almost any vegetable makes a lovely soup when cooked long enough with enough butter and cream.
9. That good beef should be eaten nearly raw and should taste like a proper animal.
10. That the Flip camera and the George Forman Grill are the best $100 we spent this year.
11. That I will never learn how to sing, bake, or apply lipstick properly.
12. That probiotics can be a magic bullet and chiropractic actually works.
13. That I did not hit "Publish Post", so this entry should not have just self published while I was making googoo faces at the baby.
14. That most of my life philosophies can be summed up by quotes from Tom Robbins' books. (Which is extremely different from Tim Robbins or Tony Robbins, if you're unfamiliar.)
15. That the bathrooms at the Fabulous Fox are more entertaining than most of the shows i've seen there.
16. That the world needs more used bookstores, cupcake bakeries, Twilight books, philosophers, unselfconscious laughter, cheap sushi restaurants, French Bulldogs, full rainbows after storms, and baby socks that do not fall off.
17. That brownie batter and cookie dough are more delicious than brownies or cookies. And that eating them is well worth the salmonella risk.
18. That watching chickens is more amusing than watching TV.
19. That women beat themselves up mentally far too much and for all the wrong reasons.
20. That Oprah is really an alien cyborg sent to enslave all of humankind.

For reals.


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