Daddy: Biscuit, who's your favorite Star Wars character?
Biscuit: Dat blue robot, probably.
Biscuit: Yeah. He was out in the rain. He got dirty.
Daddy: Mommy, who is your favorite Star Wars character?
Me: I know it's unforgivable, as someone who's read all the books and watched all the movies 1000 times and claims to be a fan, but I just love the Ewoks.
Daddy: Biscuit, do you know a good divorce lawyer?
Biscuit: (puts her head down on the table, embarrassed by her mother)
Daddy: Yeah, that's definitely unforgivable.
Me: But they're all attached to my youth and magical Christmas mornings and getting to stay up late for the stupid Endor special with that little curly haired kid. They were my first bridge into Star Wars. But I'd say Boba Fett is definitely #2, especially once I learned more of his Mandalorian background.
Daddy: Well, that's more reasonable I guess.
Me: Who's your favorite character?
Daddy: Jar Jar Binks. He's just so funny! Although I also like C3PO.
Me: You are the lamest person ever. Like, ever. You also have a 3rd nipple. But, really. Jar Jar Binks? I think I just threw up in my mouth.
See, that's what we call revenge. I just told all 34 people who read this blog that you like the 2 lamest characters in the Star Wars universe. And then they'll tell two friends, and then they'll tell two friends... and then, like, 58 people or so will know your awful secret. And they'll have to make a Lifetime movie about it. Meredith Baxter Bierney in "I Love JarJar Binks, and I'm Not Afraid To Tell The World, and Also, I Was Kidnapped by Ice Cream Salesmen: The Dr. Crog Story".
In conclusion, quit showing off your flat belly while i'm lamenting my postpartum floppiness, jackass!
ps. I love you, Dr. Crog.