Saturday, November 8, 2008

on eating blubber

As I lolled hugely on my parents' bed waiting for the Unisom to kick in today, I enjoyed watching Survivorman, a show I know mainly through Michael Scott's obsession on my DVDs of The Office. Watching TV at my folks' house is like being on vacation, since we only get out our bunny ears for presidential debates and the yearly premier of The Office. My favorite TV shows, outside of The Office, are all those quasi-reality shows where you can learn helpful things while watching filthy, fat, or unfashionable people receive helpful hints that totally turn their lives around. So watching this dude overturn his canoe in the Canadian wilderness and try to live for 7 days was quite interesting. Although I think the good folks at What Not To Wear would have had some things to say about his all-fleece-and-fur wardrobe.

Right now, i'm about as fragile as I can get, but I generally like to think of myself as relatively tough, unless it comes to highway driving or overheating after eating fettucine alfredo. Dr. Crog and I have often discussed taking one of those "survive in the woods" courses, once our kids are of a manageable age. We'd like to make fire and shelter, fish with string, dress game, all the things Mr. Survivorman does on his show. Just to see if we can, and to bolster our perceived usefulness once the zombie apocalypse occurs.

Dear mom friends: can you see me, out in the wilderness, with sticks in my hair and ash smeared on my face, holding up a bloody rabbit on a stick in the dancing firelight and howling triumphantly?

Because it's honestly on my list of things to do, along with taking my kids to Washington, D.C. and learning how to crochet. There are so many things I want to do, and so much of it will have to wait for a few years, and i'm fine with that.

I suppose my point is this: when I was little, I thought the main goals in life were marriage, kids, and career achievement. But I couldn't care less about a career, and marriage and kids have felt more like a natural continuation of a trajectory than huge stepping stones. I have always felt that achieving many of my goals would come later in life. I look forward to giving my kids new reasons to be proud of me, of letting them watch me better myself and grow in my relationship with my husband. I consider myself an unbelievably fortunate individual in every way, and life so far gets better every year.

But I can admit that I never want to pick up a big, cold bag of blubber and rip off a hunk with my teeth in the Alaskan wilderness. I want to be hungry, but not that hungry. I hope they paid Survivorman extra for that episode, because it totally grossed me out.

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