You know what I want right now?
I want the curtains hung in the nursery. I want a yummy new baby carrier. I want to sew colorful scarves for all my fabulous mom-friends. I want to go walking in the dark, rainy woods and see more deer and that elusive coyote. I want to eat a huge bowl of Cap'n Crunch. No, two bowls. I want to feel wet, cold, white clay in my hands. I want my hair cut and dyed and a manicure and a pedicure and to fit into my skinniest jeans and go somewhere to eat something ridiculously decadent that will make my skinny jeans feel too tight. I want to throw my head back and laugh. Cackle, really. I want to sleep for 16 hours straight and wake up to absolute quiet and sunshine. I want a shiny new necklace. I want my daughter to act like she did a month ago. I want to go roller skating and slip the DJ $10 to play nothing but ABBA and Prince. I want to go ice skating and wear my arm warmers. I want to go wonder around a fair and run my hands over sparkly things. I want to swim with sharks. I want to slurp udon noodles with chopsticks. I want to fly a kite in the hills near Carcassone. I want to paint a huge canvas taller than me and get paint stuck in my eyebrows. I want one of my favorite bands to come out with a new CD that's so good that the words catch in my throat. I want to scoop all the seeds out of a pumpkin, put it on my head, and chase my family around the yard. I want to be part of a huge chorus singing songs from Phantom of the Opera. I want my grandmother's chicken n' dumplin's, creamed corn, green beans, black-eyed peas, and yeast rolls smothered in butter, and then I want two helpings of chocolate pie and a huge scoop of Cool Whip. I want to see the next Harry Potter movie in the theater with a huge tub of that nasty popcorn and a giant Sprite. I want to ride the Goliath ride at Six Flags and scream my fool head off. I want to gallop through the forest on my lost friend's blue roan Tennessee Walker, feeling his muscles bunch beneath me and both of us nearly flying away. I want to work at a haunted house on Saturday night and scare some huffy teenager so badly he wets his pants. I want a pumpkin spice donut from Krispy Kreme, and I want to eat it sitting across the street in the old cemetery, surrounded by dewy grass and silence. I want to ride the carousel. I want to jump off the huge rock at Lalaria in Greece into 30 feet of crystal blue water and watch the bubbles rise to the surface through a school of fish. I want to swing on the rope swing at my friend Lisa's house in 4th grade and spin out over the precipice, feeling young and brave and reckless.
But mostly, I just like my life, and i'm going to have a big ol' cup of cocoa and crawl into the cold sheets and go to sleep with the windows open in the fall, surrounded by the people I love most.