I've really laughed a lot this week, for some reason.
My grandmother, on seeing me yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks:
"Honey, does your doctor know how... big you are?"
I just laughed and said, "No, I hide behind a door for the entire visit." Seriously, though, I only gained 5 pounds in the last month. Honest.
Me, to my husband: What would you do if you woke up in the middle of the night and I was standing over you, holding the giant yoga/exercise/birthing ball over my head like I was gonna throw it at you, American Gladiators style?"
Husband: Freak out. Freak out, and then tell you to get back in bed.
Cleo: I want more broccoli. To eat in my mouth.
While she points at her mouth. Thanks for clarifying, buddy.
Me: What do pirates say?
Cleo: OINK OINK!!
Me: No, pirates say YAARRRRRRR!
Cleo: OINK OINK YARRRRRRRRR!
It's a good life. I like to laugh.