Saturday, August 30, 2008

the facts of life

You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have... the facts of life. Right? I get the theme songs to all our favorite 80's sitcoms slightly confused, but when you really get down to the nitty gritty, I seem to remember that Silver Spoons had a song about silver spoons, Diff'rent Strokes had a song about diff'rent strokes, and Small Wonder had a song about a freaky robot zombie child dressed like a giant pageant doll that slept with her creepy eyes open in a large box.

Here are several facts, as I see them:

The good thing about being an adult is that you can eat birthday cake for dinner.

The good thing about being confident is that when a relative or friend greets your pregnant belly with, "Honey, you're HUGE!", you can just laugh and say, "Yeah, I kinda noticed".

The good thing about Unisom is that you can sleep for 8 hours in spite of pregnancy insomnia and a nightly calisthenics routine by the acrobatic titanium squid inhabiting your thorax.

The good thing about two-year-olds is that they get all the wonder of presents and parties with none of the greed.

The good thing about husbands is that they take your child to the park, wash your car, and fill up your gas tank while you are indulging in some tempura and sushi and reading Outlander after a ridiculous, meaningless, hormone-fueled crying jag because your child told you she didn't love you because your enormous stomach was taking up too much jumping room on her bed.

The good thing about parties is that they are a good reason to make my famous taco dip and then settle over it like a big, magenta vulture as I glug it into my sarlaac-esque maw.

The good thing about blogs is that you can make stupid confessions and comments, and only about 35 people a day read them, and they're your friends, so they don't judge you too harshly.

And the good thing about 9:30 is that it's the perfect time for a final shot of chocolate Silk and some Frisky Dingo before I drift off blissfully into the sound sleep of someone who gets to sleep in one day a week, that day being Sunday, which is tomorrow.

Can I get a hallelujah? No? How about some more birthday cake?

1 comment:

Valerie said...

mmmm... taco dip. I miss your taco dip. The one in the oven with cream cheese hiding in the middle, right? yum.

Hey guess what - we're in Virginia. :-)