Monday, June 23, 2008

why fevers are dangerous

As Cleo and I play dueling fevers to battle some sort of demonic summer virus, I am reminded that fevers can be dangerous. Not because they boil the brain or keep parents up all night freaking out... because they can make you have a mini-hallucination that you are Jean Teasdale writing about your amazing new idea for a musical to replace CATS on Broadway.

Is there anything scarier than that?

So here's my pitch, intrepid readers...

Now that CATS has left Broadway, where are visitors to The Big Apple to find inspiring, magical, song-and-dance filled theater involving hoards of talented actors in clingy cat costumes? At Slinkronicity! It's the new Broadway show based entirely on the repertoire of America's favorite tantric songster, Sting!

It's the romantic and unique story of two star-crossed feline lovers, Slink and Miss Tiddlebones. Miss Tiddlebones is a pampered Abyssinian show cat, while Slink is a fun-loving scoundrel of an alley cat. They meet one evening when the foolish maid accidentally locks Miss T out on the stoop, and Slink saves her from a quarrelsome pug. She is haughty and finds him low-brow, but they soon fall in love and share an amorous evening on the town! He must then convince his street-wise friends to help him spring Miss T out of her plushy life and into the colorful life of the hobo cat. I am sure there has never been a story like this before!!

Songs include:
Don't Stand So Close to Me (when Miss T first meets Slink and his filthy pals)
Stripes of Gold (during their amorous evening in the sewers)
Every Little Thing She Does is Meow-gic (as Slink sings her praises to his friends)
Every Fish You Take (when Miss T disapproves of Slink's methods at the Fish Market)
Fortress Around Your Cat (when the alley cats are trying to rescue Miss T)

And so much more!

I'm sure it's going to be a huge hit, Jean.

Can I have my Tylenol now, PLEASE???


Valerie said...

yes! ooh, i do love the police. Justin hates them, tho he might consider going if you change the title to Stingcronicity, heavy on the "stingc".

sting can further attempt to woo miss t with random french songs, and when he contemplates the rapidly approaching death of his december-may older kitty vixen sweetheart (these are cat years after all), he can sing "can't stand losing you"

Hope you all feel better. :-)

stinestrain said...

I'm not sure whether my laugh or my groan was louder.