We all cried when Puddin' died. C'mon, I know you did, too. He was the ideal cat: lazy, obese, snuggly, weird, dedicated to remaining indoors, and not at all picky about food.
Then we got Scully, and we were excited. Well, the Biscuit and I were excited. Dr. Krog was quite enthusiastic when drunk, but downright annoyed when sober. What could be wrong with a pretty, tidy cat that liked the baby?
Sweet lord, what isn't wrong with her? She's driving me crazy! Here's the tally:
1. Clawed up 2 square feet of carpet under the spare room door.
2. Will only eat the most expensive of dry foods. Snubs all other food.
3. Yowls constantly, at all times of the day, for no recognizable reason.
4. Wakes up the Biscuit and me at 6am or earlier with prodigious yowling and physical rubbing.
5. Despite interest in having us awake and near her, absolutely refuses to snuggle. Does not know how to snuggle. Won't snuggle.
6. WON'T SNUGGLE?!?!?!!!
7. Darts out the door whenever possible. Stays gone for hours, if she can. Comes back scratched up and even yowlier than before.
8. IS NOT MY PUDDY CAT OEEEEEEE!
So i'm trying to return her to her previous home, where I was assured she'd be welcomed with open arms if it didn't work out. They are not biting. Thus far, i've been told to play with her more and just let her go outside. I'm too tired to play with her, and I utterly refuse to have an outdoor cat. Period. So i've offered to rehome her if they don't want her back, and we'll see how that "threat" plays out.
Lessons learned? Take a pregnancy test before getting a new cat. If you're a cat, don't piss off the pregnant lady. Don't lie about your cat's interests in going outside and clawing up furniture when the new owner will figure it out really quickly.
And lastly, take my cat. Please.